Early Childhood Hub – Page 3 – United Way of Lane County Testing

Take a Road Trip This Summer

Posted on September 20, 2023 - 8:37 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Family sitting in an open car trunk with arms raised during a road trip

Summer is already busy, so why should you prioritize taking a road trip with your young kids? The answer is simple – because life is busy. Road trips don’t have to be big or elaborate to make a big impact on your kids!

Road trips are a time to connect. The act of driving to the destination is a memory your children will remember with love for years to come. Road trips put your family in a position to sit and talk and play for hours, without distractions that might come up at home. The drive will create an opportunity for silly, low-key family moments together. You can play games by looking for letters of the alphabet, sing silly songs, tell stories, and talk about all the fun you’re about to experience together!

Fun Road Trip Activities

I Spy With My Little Eye (Something that is…purple!)
Counting game – Pick an item to keep track of and then count them together. (Count the number of red cars or the number of barns, train crossings, or speed limit signs.)
Guess the Animal – One person thinks of an animal and everyone else takes turns asking questions to try and figure out which animal it is. (Model asking broad questions first, such as does it walk on four legs or does it have fur, before moving onto the more direct questions, like is it a giraffe.)
The Alphabet Game – Take turns trying to find the letters of the alphabet (Find an “A” in a license plate, then a “B” on a road sign, a “C” at a gas station, etc.

Road trips also offer more flexibility than other modes of transportation, such as flying, trains, or public transportation. That might sound counterintuitive at first, but driving allows you to create or change your schedule as needs arise. If your toddler needs some fresh air or your baby needs a bottle, or you just want to explore a new area, you can make that happen at any time!

While a flight with kids is just something you aim to get through and finish, the road trip becomes its own unique adventure, something to enjoy. Even if it’s a simple drive a few hours away, the magic created from time together as a family will enhance your trip, instead of just serving as a way to get there.

Whether it’s a drive across the country or an hour away to a zoo, packing up the car and getting everyone together to drive to a destination is a positive bonding experience.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Parenting Now Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Parenting Now Triple P page.

Having Visitors

Posted on September 12, 2023 - 11:50 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Two children playing together on a wooden rocking toy indoors

Having visitors in your home feels like it should be a fun and exciting event, so why are your preschool aged kids acting out during this time? Kids will often be excited about having friends over to play, but having someone else in their home can be stressful for kids. Sometimes they may respond to this stress by refusing to share, refusing to play with the visiting children, or constantly demanding your attention. Fortunately, there are ways you can help your child learn to manage their feelings and respond to their guests appropriately.!

Before the visit, plan the time together with your child. How long will they have to play? Will there be a snack? What activity do they want to do? Which toys will they play with? If there are toys they don’t want to share this time, you can put them out of sight. By respecting your child’s wishes around which toys they are willing to share, you are teaching them to set boundaries. When your child can make choices about what to expect, you are gaining their cooperation up front, and you are increasing your chances of a successful, well behaved visit.

Key Steps to Preventing Problems When You Have Visitors

Try to plan visits around your child’s usual sleeping and eating times, so as not to disrupt routines. This is important for your child’s ability to stay calm and regulated. We all do better when our basic needs for rest and food are met.
Get your child to agree to a few simple rules while your guests are here. Focus on things they should do, not things they shouldn’t do. (Ex: Take turns with your toys). Remind them of these rules prior to your guests arriving.
Talk with your child about what to do if they feel frustrated or angry during the visit. Practice taking deep breaths together. How can they express what they want in a calm way? When should they ask for help from an adult?
Encourage your child to greet guests when they arrive. Practice what to say, such as, “Hi Billy. I’m glad you’re here.”
Make sure you have some activities ready for the kids in advance. Help your child and any visiting children get set up with the activities so that everyone is comfortable.
Praise and reward the kids for cooperating and playing together nicely. Check in often, not just when challengingbehavior is occurring.
Act as soon as a challenge arises. Get close to your child, use a quiet and calm voice, and tell them what to stop doing and what to do instead.
If the behavior continues, back up your instructions with a logical consequence (ex: You continued to throw your toy car so now I will need to take it away for ten minutes).
After the guests leave, talk about the visit with your child. Ask them what they did well, and help them to feel proud of themselves. Then spend some quality time together. This individual attention will let them know they are important to you, and you like spending time with them.

Having visitors provides kids with the opportunity to practice some complex social skills, such as being a good host, talking politely with adults, greeting visitors, and considering things other children might like to do. It helps them learn to cope with their feelings in sometimes unpredictable situations, and to negotiate friend relationships. While your child will get better at these skills with time, it’s important not to expect your child to be perfect at first, a lot is happening in their home!

As your child gets more comfortable with having guests at their home, they will get better at all the social skills they are learning. They will learn to manage their difficult feelings and behave responsibly, so won’t need as much reminding of the rules, rewards, and consequences. Continue having friends and family over to your home, and notice and point out when your child behaves well. You’re building skills that will help your child with social interactions throughout their life!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Teaching Gentle Behavior

Posted on April 18, 2023 - 6:19 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Parent and child sharing a gentle hug on the couch

Toddlers, by nature, are sweet and kind, but they don’t always have the words or skills to work through their big feelings and emotions. They don’t yet have the words to express their feelings or needs in order to get what they want in a socially acceptable way. They have not yet learned to regulate their feelings, so big feelings may take over their behavior. When they are upset or frustrated, a toddler might bite, scratch, or hit you or another child.

It can be startling for parents when their toddler starts biting or hitting out of nowhere, but there is usually a reason behind it:

It could be that your toddler is teething and looking for relief any way they can get it.
Sometimes your toddler just wants to see what happens if they bite, hit, or push. These behaviors usually get a big reaction from grownups, which children may find rewarding.
Toddlers can harm others when they are frustrated and they do not have the words to express themselves.
Hurting may be a way for a child to get what they want. If pushing a friend out of the way to get the toy first works, then that toddler might keep using that tactic.

Supporting your child through this phase

You want your child to be well liked by his friends, so during play dates or at the park, watch your toddler closely to prevent problems before they start. Look for signals that your toddler is getting upset, such as raising their voice, kicking or throwing toys, crossing their arms, etc.

When you see your toddler acting in a way that tells you they are getting frustrated or angry, that is the time to intervene. Get down on your child’s level and tell him what you see. “I see you stomping your foot.” Then name the feeling. “Are you feeling angry?” Help him to say how they feel, begin to regulate those feelings, and then identify what they want. “Let’s take a deep breath together. That’s better, good work. Now, can you use your words to tell me what you want?”

Your toddler depends on you to help him learn how to behave with others. You are his secure base he can turn to again and again when he is having difficulty. Your open arms invite him to learn the skills he needs in a loving way. When you do need to remove him from the situation, it is important to remain calm yourself, and speak to him in the same gentle way you would like him to talk to you and others.

Sometimes, you will need to remove him from the situation for a few moments to help him calm down.

If you see your toddler acting in a way that isn’t gentle, such as throwing toys or sand at another child, quickly remove your child from the activity.

Tell your child why they had to stop playing and what the next step is going to be: “Lauren, you threw sand at Cameron and that made him sad. We are going to have some quiet time away from the sandbox to settle down and talk about why we don’t hurt our friends.”
When your child has calmed down, after a minute or two, you can let them return to their activity.
You may need to repeat these steps a few times.

Encouraging gentle behavior

Toddlers have a big capacity for love and affection, but sometimes they need to be taught how to be gentle with others. We can model this behavior for them in our interactions with our own children, such as:

Stroking their hair
Rubbing their back
Holding hands

If you have a pet at home, you could demonstrate gentle ways to pet the dog or cat. If your toddler likes to play with baby dolls or stuffed animals, you could also show your child how to gently tend to them.

You can also support your toddler’s gentle side by giving them praise when you see them playing nicely with others. When your child is playing well, give them lots of attention and talk about it: “Conrad, you are doing a great job of taking turns with your friend.”

And when your child is being sweet with you, you can also let them know: “Oh, thank you for that BIG hug. It makes me feel so special when you hug me.”

This article is brought to you by Parenting Now Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis, and Kalina Glover-Moresi. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about fostering happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now please visit their website (https://parentingnow.org/) or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Triple P page.

Teaching Chores and Cleaning Up Skills

Posted on April 14, 2023 - 7:21 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Parent and child sweeping the floor together at home

Many kids can benefit from participating in daily or weekly chores. It helps you out, it helps care for the home, and some studies even link early childhood chores to later success in adulthood, pointing to strengthened adult relationships and successful careers. The key is knowing what chores are appropriate for your child’s age group, skill level, and maturity.

If you’d like your young child to start doing chores, sit with them and talk about what chores look like, what chores are, and how to do each one. Be specific.

You can talk with your child about how everyone in the family contributes to all of your lives running smoothly. Young children want, more than anything, to be like a grown up. By giving your child the opportunity to contribute, they can feel proud of themselves. As their sense of self grows, they feel like an important part of the family. They are growing in confidence and skills.

In addition:

• Discuss why helping is important: “It takes all of us working together to make our house and family run smoothly.”

• Make a list of chores that need to be done: feeding the dog, putting away laundry, and taking out the recycling.

• Make a list of the chores your children would like to do first or learn how to do.

• Create a final jobs list and categorize by family member, and whether the chore is daily, weekly, or monthly.

You can let your child know that you will also be doing your chores just like they will be doing theirs. After talking about chores and what they look like, come up with some chores that you both think would be beneficial for the household.

Here are some ideas:

Ages 4-5:

• Clear and set the table

• Dust items that are not fragile

• Help carry and put away groceries

• Put away toys

• Make their bed

• Water plants

Ages 6-8:

• Feed the pets

• Clean the floors

• Take out the trash

• Put away laundry

• Help wash dishes

Young children can help around the house in many ways. Children at different ages and stages of child development can handle different levels or complexities of chores. An older child might be able to load the dishwasher but a younger child can still pick up their toys after playing with them.

When talking to your younger children about chores, keep it simple. You can tell your child that “If we work together as a family to get chores done, then there is more time for fun.”

As a family, make a list of chores that need to be done. Then, talk about it as a family. Allow your child to add to the list and see if they can think of things they might want to help with. Figure out tasks your child can do on their own without needing much help.

As your child matures, give them age-appropriate tasks from the list. For example, you might start with picking up toys and putting them in a bucket when they are toddlers. Then, moving to clearing the dinner table when they are a bit older. Some children might need to see the list as things that need to get done throughout the day. Some chores need to be done in the morning or throughout the day or specifically at night. This way they can have a chore or two during each part of the day.

After talking about the list and letting them have input, allow your child to choose a few tasks they would like to work on. You might need to help them pick a few tasks if they are unsure. Once you and your child have picked out a few chores, make a list of what they will be working on. This list can be written in words or have pictures to remind your children what the task looks like. Try this for a few weeks and see how they are doing. Do they need something harder to work on or are they doing ok with this task? You can decide this based on how your child is doing.

Be sure to give lots of praise when your child works on their chore. It is important to praise effort, as well as a job well done. Help your child feel proud of themselves for trying hard, following through and completing the task. At first, as your child is learning, you can do the chore together, then watch them do it on their own. They will be thrilled to show you what they learned! Be patient and give them lots of encouragement and time to learn. Soon, they will be independently doing their chores with gentle reminders. Once they start to initiate doing their chore on their own, it’s time to celebrate!

Your child might push back when you ask them to do chores. Making a game out of it can sometimes help—such as using a timer, or seeing who can put toys away the fastest. Your patience and persistence will pay off, and you may have a new helper around the house!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Make a Game of Shopping Trips

Posted on April 14, 2023 - 7:10 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Toddler reaching for produce while holding a small shopping basket

Going shopping can be a fun activity for the entire family, but with toddlers and preschoolers in tow, shopping can have its fair share of challenging moments. But there are ways to make shopping trips a little easier on yourself and more fun for both you and your child.

First, it is helpful to plan your shopping trip when you and your child are well rested, fed, and up for an adventure.

When you first start taking your child shopping with you, it’s best to take them on short trips—under 10 minutes—when you only need a few items. It’s typical for toddlers and preschoolers to get tired and irritated easily, especially in situations where they are bored or expected to be calm and patient for an extended period of time.

If you can keep them curious and excited about the adventure, your child is less likely to engage in disruptive behavior while at the store. By giving your child a “job to do” or turning shopping into a game, you can hold your child’s attention and engage them—and have fun in the process.

Before you go to the store, it is helpful to talk about how we act in the store. Your child will feel more secure if they know what you expect from them. You can give them two or three guidelines to follow, such as using an indoor voice and staying right with you. Sometimes you can buy extra things and sometimes you need to stick with what’s on your list. What can they expect for this trip? This will help you set up your trip for success.

When you give yourself plenty of time and take the opportunity to connect with your child while doing your shopping, you will get the task done and build your relationship at the same time. It can be a win-win activity.

One approach for keeping your child curious in the store is to try games that utilize your child’s five senses.

Sight

What catches your child’s eye while in the store? Do they like certain colors? Do they like the cold area near the freezer foods or the garden area with all of the plants? They might see a fruit or vegetable they have never seen before and you can let them explore it by asking them questions about it. See if they can find and name all the different colors of produce they see, and then let them sort the colors in the grocery cart.

Taste

Take guesses at whether certain foods taste sweet, sour, or salty. When you are at the grocery store, ask your child if there is something from the produce aisle they would like to try at home. Cotton candy grapes are always fun to try! Purchase the product and take it home to try it together as a family.

Touch

Notice the different textures of various fruits and vegetables. Go on a hunt in the produce section for bumpy textures (avocado and oranges) and smooth textures (tomatoes), fuzzy textures (kiwi), and spikey ones (pineapple, dragonfruit). You can let your child gently hold the item to feel the different textures, and better yet, let them pick out one they would like to take home.

Smell

Different stores have different smells. Sometimes each aisle has a different smell. Talk to your child about what you both smell. Is it different? Is it the same? Why do they think each aisle smells different? The produce aisle is a great place to seek out unusual scents, such as citrus or more earthy smells like beets. If there is a deli or bakery in the store, walk down the aisle and take a whiff together. Talk about what you smell and how smell and taste are connected. Is there a memory that is evoked by the smell of baking bread?

Hear

Stores have all sorts of sounds: there is music playing, people talking. Take a moment to notice what you hear—are the noises loud or quiet? High-pitched or low-pitched? With your child, take a few moments of silence to notice the sounds around you, such as the crinkly sound of the produce bags or the rattling sound of a peanut can. You can name the sounds you hear together and see if you can copy the sounds you hear (quietly).

After your trip

On the way home from the store, review how your shopping trip went with your child. Give your child positive feedback when they follow your shopping guidelines. Tell them how much fun you had with them and how much you appreciate their help. Everyone in the family can help it run smoothly, and their contributions matter. You can feel good about getting your shopping done and taking the opportunity to use shopping as a way to engage your child’s curiosity and learning. And, you are even contributing to a foundation of strong, positive memories with your child.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Supporting Your Child’s Separation Challenges

Posted on April 14, 2023 - 6:39 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Child hugging a parent's leg tightly while standing outdoors

Separation challenges from parents and caregivers can start at an early age in children. It can begin in infancy and last for some time. Some children experience separation anxiety before preschool or kindergarten or when starting a new daycare.

In most cases, separation challenges are developmentally appropriate. As a parent, you are their touchstone. Your presence is how they have learned they are safe in the world and that their needs will be met. They look to you for reassurance, and to take care of things. This is a sign of good attachment. As they grow more independent, they will learn to hold you in the back of their mind and gain confidence in themselves to handle what is before them.

Children can benefit from having their own space away from their caregivers and spending time in different environments and with different people. Here are some ways to ease your child’s separation challenges:

Explain to your child where they will be going and what you will be doing. This is a big concept for your child to understand, but telling them that you will be going to “work” and they will be going to “school” or “daycare” will let them know the plan. Young children like to know what’s coming next. Creating a daily schedule chart or social story that shows what your child will do at preschool or daycare.

Talk to your child about the things they will need to take with them when they go to a new place, such as school. This could include a backpack, a snack or lunch, an extra set of clothes, etc. Your child may enjoy picking out a new backpack, lunchbox, or water bottle—decorating a water bottle with stickers can be fun, too!
Avoid stressful mornings by laying out you and your child’s clothing the night before, and packing lunches the night before. Build in an extra 15-20 minute window to get to school. You never know when a lost shoe or busy commute is going to throw your schedule off.
Have your child’s backpack packed and waiting by the door. Your child could help you pack their backpack. Ask your child questions, such as “which extra clothes would you like to bring?” Then, let your child know that they could bring an extra special toy or comforting item with them to help them feel safe.

When you begin to leave your child in the care of others, developing a routine can help. Discuss and even practice it so your child can better understand what to expect. This might also help your anxiety on your first day apart, too. When starting preschool or kindergarten, practice the routine with your child at home. You could turn it into a “dropping them off at school” game. When playing “drop off at school,” your game could include:

Say hello to the teachers at your child’s school. If your child can say hello or wave, have them practice that.
Find a toy, puzzle, or book in the classroom that they really like or want to play with that day.
Hug and kiss your child.

When it comes to the real thing, develop a consistent routine for drop off: This could include walking your child to the school doors; giving them a hug; reminding them where you are going to be when your child is at school and that you will pick them up at the end of a school day. Resist a long goodbye.

Some children have a hard time saying goodbye. They can burst into tears or they might just wave and start learning for the day. Know that some days will be easier than others. To comfort your child, tell them that you will be back at the end of the day to pick them up.

At pick up, ask your child’s teacher or caregiver how they did that day. It’s not uncommon for children to calm down a few minutes after they are dropped off—even when the morning started in tears.

It can take days, weeks, or even months in some cases before a preschooler’s anxiety reduces and they can have fun at school. Separation is difficult for both caregiver and child, but know that it gets easier with time and practice.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Step 5 of Positive Parenting: Take Care of Yourself as a Parent

Posted on March 14, 2023 - 1:17 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent relaxing with a warm drink and a book at home

The last in the 5 Steps to Positive Parenting is one of the easiest steps to overlook: Taking care of yourself as a parent.

Some days, between cluster feedings, an infant who will only sleep in your arms, and toddler potty training and upsets, you’re lucky if you can eat a piece of leftover, cold pizza for lunch or manage a shower.

But, as the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty glass. It’s important that you look after your own needs too, whether that means asking for help, spending time with friends, or spending some quiet moments alone. It is not selfish to take good care of yourself. On the contrary, it is vital to your health and the health of your family.

Because Science Says So

The research is in! A recent study revealed that moms who have a solid support system in place have toddlers who perform better on cognitive tests, demonstrating that there is a connection between a mom’s support system and a baby’s brain development. So whether it’s friends, family, or peers in a parenting group, having 3 or 4 people in your life who you can turn to for support can positively impact your well-being, as well as your child’s.

But it’s not uncommon for parents to feel alone in their parenting journey and many things can contribute to this: living far from extended family, taking a break from your job to be a stay-at-home parent, moving to a new town, not having friends with young children.

If this sounds like your situation, there is hope for you. Locally, there are lots of options for making new parent friends. A parenting group, such as those offered at Parenting Now!, is a great place to not only meet new parents but also learn about your child’s development. If you’d like more casual drop-in programs, you could try storytime at the library, Baby Pop music time or the nursing nook at Daisy C.H.A.I.N, Playtime for Children and Parents at Parenting Now, or a toddler playtime at one of our local gymnastic centers. Try out a few activities and find one that both you and your child enjoy. It can be helpful to stay consistent with your activity of choice so you have the opportunity to see familiar faces week after week.

Help is on the way

As a new parent, it is helpful to have more than just social support. Bringing home a new baby can feel scary, especially if you are worried that your newborn isn’t feeding properly or you are experiencing a postpartum mood disorder. Never feel afraid to ask for help. Your doctor or child’s pediatrician is a good place to start, but you can also reach out to local resources that are well-equipped to help with a variety of circumstances:

Baby Connection: A free drop-in feeding clinic and lactation support group offered at Parenting Now.

WellMama: Support for parents experiencing postpartum mood disorders, such as postpartum depression and anxiety.

Daisy C.H.A.I.N: In-home postpartum recovery, as well as lactation consulting.

Healthy Families: Support that comes to you. You can access prenatally, and need to enroll before baby turns three months old.

La Leche League of Eugene: Breastfeeding support.

Lane County Public Health Services: Maternal/child health home visits.

For a full list of resources, visit the Parenting Now Resources for Families Website.

Other ways to support yourself

Being a parent doesn’t mean putting your own needs aside for the next 18 years. Yes, infants and toddlers require a lot from us—as it should be—but there are little things you can do in your day to help maintain your sense of self, as well as your sanity!

Get moving: Whether it’s a brisk walk or indoor dance party on a raining day, exercise is proven to improve your mood and keep you healthy.

Get outside: Sure it rains on average 210 days a year in Lane County, but finding those pockets during the day when the rain lets up can be a great time for getting in a walk or spending time at the park. Remember to take in some deep breathes in the fresh air. Even on cloudy days, just getting some natural light releases feel-good, calming chemicals in your body and helps to balance your mood.

Carve out time for your hobbies: Love to read, dance, or paint? Don’t give up on what makes you happy. Schedule time every week to cozy up in a bookstore or attend a dance class.

Set realistic expectations: This is not the season in your life to “Marie Kondo” your house or become a gourmet chef. Clean when you have time, but don’t stress that your house has to be picture perfect at all times. And know that your family will survive without a 4-course meal for dinner every night. If you can manage grilled cheese and tomato soup, then consider it a win. Especially during high stress times, it is helpful to simplify routines.

This article is brought to you by Parenting Now Parenting Educators and authors. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about fostering happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now please visit their website (https://parentingnow.org/) or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Step 4 of Positive Parenting: Have Realistic Expectations

Posted on March 14, 2023 - 1:17 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent and toddler playing with a toy together on the bed

One of the primary goals of the Triple P-Positive Parenting Program is show that parenting education is for every family. Whether you’re currently experiencing high levels of stress or have found a good balance in your life, we can all benefit from learning the basic principles of positive parenting.

Stranger Than Fiction: When The Realities of Parenting Don’t Match Expectations

Let’s be real: We’ve all witnessed a toddler meltdown at a store and thought to ourselves, “When I have children, I will never let them act that way in public.” It’s easy to envision the type of parent you’ll become and what your child will be like while they are still nesting cozily in the womb.

But the demands of parenthood, the temperament of your child, how much support you have, and your child’s normal developmental phases will likely create a different reality for you—and that’s OK!

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs there is, but having realistic expectations of yourself and your children is one of the best choices you can make in easing the process. And next time you see an exhausted mom carrying her screaming toddler out of the store, you might give her a nod in solidarity or offer to carry her groceries out to the car instead of rushing to make judgments.

Each child Is unique

As parents, we love to gush about our children’s successes: Jonah’s first word, Molly’s dance recital, Elijah’s game-winning pitch… and social media is the perfect place for us to share updates and pictures of all those beautiful moments, right? The downside to this ease of sharing is the potential for comparing your child’s development and milestones to other children. If you find yourself questioning why your infant isn’t walking yet or getting frustrated that your older child can’t throw a curve ball, here are some points to keep in mind:

All children develop at their own rate.

Each child has unique strengths.

Children are individuals with their own personalities. Just because your favorite pastime was softball as a child, does not mean your child will love it too.

Children make mistakes, but most mistakes are unintentional and part of their learning process.

It’s OK to let your child try and fail; it is an opportunity for them to learn persistence or acceptance.

Above all, be sure that your standards of behavior (such as being able to stand still in a line for 10 minutes) or demands (such as chores) are age-appropriate. While it’s no fun to wait in line at the post office with a wiggly 3-year old, it’s developmentally appropriate for a toddler to want to move and explore the area. Finding ways to work within your expectations and your child’s age and abilities is one key to happy parenting.

Perfectly (un)perfect parents

Remember when you or your partner was pregnant, and you had all those grand visions in your mind about parenting, such as: no screen time; only organic, homemade baby food; teaching baby sign language; sleeping through the night by 6 weeks. Flash forward a couple years and now your toddler is eating cheesy puffs and watching Paw Patrol while you nurse your newborn for the 100th time today, dishes are piled high and you haven’t showered in 3 days. Sound familiar? We’ve ALL been there because this is the reality of parenting young children. It’s hard. It’s all-consuming. But we survive! Just remember:

You will make mistakes.

It’s OK to not have all the answers and to admit you don’t always know what you are doing.

Don’t compare yourself to the mom at school drop-off with freshly laundered clothes and a full face of makeup. She once sported a messy bun and sweatpants just like the rest of us.

Every moment with your child is a positive learning experience for you.

The demands of parenthood will change over time. Some things will get easier (yay, no more accidents in public!), and some will get harder (first breakup).

Remember, the days are long now, but the years will be short. Your child will be this age only once; relax and enjoy the process as much as you can!

Along the way, it’s important to take care of yourself just as much as you do your child. In the next step, we will go over ways to take care of yourself as a parent.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Step 3 of Positive Parenting: Use Assertive Discipline

Posted on March 14, 2023 - 1:17 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent talking closely with a child sitting on the couch

From telling little fibs to pulling their sibling’s hair, addressing challenging behavior is something parents do every day. A common thread in the Positive Parenting Program is how to manage the behavior you don’t want to see in the moment and ways to prevent it in the future.

As parents, we strive to find the most efficient, effective, and healthy ways to discourage undesirable behavior, such as lying, stealing, fighting, whining, or interrupting.

Children crave a predictable, stable environment. Clear rules, boundaries, and follow-through with appropriate consequences will help your child feel safe. When they know what will happen, they can use the thinking part of their brain to make a conscious choice about how they behave.

Family Values and Expectations

Toddlers are known for testing limits. They are just beginning to understand they are separate from you, and their job is to work toward mastering their own autonomy. Sometimes it’s because they want to see what you will do, or they think it’s a funny game. If your reaction to their behavior is inconsistent (say, you laugh the first time they call their brother a “fart face” but then scold them the next time), it’s going to send mixed messages. They won’t know what to expect, so they will continue to experiment with the limits.

As a family, discuss your stance on topics such as potty talk, swearing, physical contact, etc. Be clear with your toddler or older child what the family rules are. Yes, you’ll probably sound like a broken record, but, especially, toddlers need to hear the message over and over consistently before they learn. Other points to consider:

Repeat your rules calmly and consistently

Use clear, short, and direct messaging: “Hands to yourself,” “No running in the store.”

Be inclusive in your message: “We do not hit,” rather than “You do not hit.”

Say what you want your child to do instead. “We use our walking feet in the store.”

Use a firm, calm voice when managing consequences.

Consequences for Misbehavior

It happens to even the best of parents: There are going to be times when you have to dish out consequences for misbehavior.

Choose a consequence that fits the behavior, such as removing a toy that your children are fighting over: “You need to take turns with the race car. To help you learn to take turns, you need to take a break for 5 minutes to think about that. Then, let’s try using a timer.”

Used planned ignoring for whining and protests.

Return the toy or activity once the time is up. Set the timer for each turn. When it’s time for the other child’s turn, facilitate the exchange until they can do it independently.

Don’t feel discouraged if the consequence didn’t prevent your child from pulling the cat’s tail or dumping the contents of her dresser all over the floor. It will take repeated tries before she gets it.

Encourage Desirable Behavior

In between moments of cleaning up toy messes, making snacks, finding the correct episode of Peppa Pig they asked for, find moments in the day to praise your child when you see desirable behavior. Those little moments really help to build a child’s confidence, trust, and self-esteem, so it’s worth taking time out of your day to point out when they are using a nice quiet voice, petting the dog gently, doing a good job of sharing, etc.

Managing challenging behavior can also be a good time to reflect on your own behavior. Are you modeling behavior that you want your child to follow? If not, then look at ways you can make improvements for the betterment of the whole family. Remember, they may not always do what you say, but they will surely do what you do.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Step 2 of Positive Parenting: Have a Positive Learning Environment

Posted on March 14, 2023 - 1:17 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent reading a picture book together with a child on their lap

Children are sponges for information, using every opportunity to learn something further about their world. Even when you don’t think your child is paying attention, be assured that they are! Babies learn about their world by manipulating toys in their hands and mouthing any nearby objects they can get their hands on; Toddlers use their bodies to learn through play and asking a million questions a day.

Between answering questions about why cats have whiskers to responding to the 20th request of the day for snacks, let’s face it: As parents, it’s easy and normal to feel burnt out and not give it our all 100% of the time.

But it’s still important that, as parents, our children feel that they can come to us with their questions, ideas, or just when they need some extra attention. When your child comes to you for help or to talk, they’re ready to learn. Give them positive attention, even if only for a minute or so.

Ways To Create A Positive Learning Environment

Monkey See, Monkey Do

You’ve no doubt heard the expression “Monkey See, Monkey Do.” If you want your child to use their “kind words” when requesting a snack, they need to also observe you using the same type of language. Or, say, for instance, you want your older child to spend more time reading and less time playing video games, be mindful or your own screen time habits and find time together as a family to read. As parents, you are your child’s first teacher: Model the behavior and traits you want to see in your own child, and find opportunities throughout your day to teach your child about the world around you, including:

Go on nature hunts in your neighborhood, collecting a variety of leaves, flowers, rocks, etc.

Use grocery store trips or car rides to point out words you see. For younger children, narrate as you go through the store, naming and describing what you see.

Explore the library and pick out new books.

Creativity Is Key

Art offers children the chance to explore their own identity, develop thoughts, feelings, and opinions, as well as just have fun. Having outlets in your home to get creative is a great way to support a positive learning environment.

It’s never too soon to incorporate creativity and the arts into your child’s life. It could start with singing a lullaby to your newborn, then move on to finger paints with your toddler, and eventually a song and dance routine with your elementary-age child! The beauty of getting creative with your child is that there are so many fun—and inexpensive—ways to do it:

Use household items to play dress up, such as bed sheets for superhero capes.

Make a collage out of nature items found in your backyard.

Use a cardboard box and stuffed animals to come up with a puppet show.

Remember good, old fashioned blank paper and crayons!

If you want your child to harness the power of their expressive side, accessibility is the name of the game. In the home, have washable markers, crayons and paints, as well as paper out, where your older child can get to them easily. It can make your job easier if you have a corner where these are set out for ready use. If your child wants to take dance classes or learn to play an instrument, be open to the idea and start by asking a studio if you can sit and observe a class in-progress to see if it’s a good fit for your child.

Help Develop Healthy Self-Esteem

If you were told over and over again that your paintings weren’t very good, would you want to continue painting? Probably not.

Children are sensitive, and prone to giving up easily when things are tough or they think they are not good at it. A lack of praise, affection, or attention can cause a child to have low self-esteem. But a child who receives plenty of praise and encouragement is going to feel good about themselves. Praise the effort, not the product, “You are working really hard on that painting; tell me about it.”

Let’s say your toddler excitedly calls you over to look at their painting of a cat. All you see is giant blobs of paint, so soaked that the paper is ripping and paint is running onto the table. Beaming, your child is watching you for your response.

Before you complain that they used too much paint or made a big mess, stop yourself and first praise them for their efforts and what they did well: “I love how you incorporated so many colors into your painting.” Then, using kind words, help them with the mess. “It’s looks like your paper got soggy in some areas. Let’s clean up together, and then I can show you how to use just the right amount of paint.”

Having a positive learning environment also includes encouraging your child to express their ideas and emotions. Listen to your child’s ideas, feelings, thoughts, and hopes without judgement. They need to know that you are their safety zone for unloading whatever is on their mind.