Author Archives: L. Milton

My family teases me about my vast collection of picture books. They say I can open a library out of our home. I give picture books as gifts to recipients of all ages.

They are works of art! Literally! I am constantly amazed at the artistic skill of the illustrators. The authors magically make the readers feel inspired, cozy, seen, happy, and mighty in just 32 pages. 

Behold, the Picture Book 

Mac Barnett was recently named the National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature. This prestigious appointment comes with an opportunity to choose a platform on which to focus for the tenure. Barnett named his theme, Behold, the Picture Book! Let’s Celebrate Stories We Can Feel, Hear, and See, to elevate the status of these texts.

When we take a moment to consider the talent required to create a book that makes the reader feel so deeply and to acknowledge the special rituals that often surround snuggled-up book reading time, the word “behold” is perfect. These books have become beloved by children.

As Barnett says in an interview with NPR, “The picture book is my favorite art form. It’s such an incredible, vibrant, exciting, forward-looking, experimental art form.”

Rebellious Read Alouds 

OPEC’s Training Academy hosted former kindergarten teacher and author, Vera Ahiyya, to discuss her book, Rebellious Read Alouds and the power of picture books. She shared staggering statistics about diverse representation in picture books.

Animals are the 2nd most popular primary character, and Ahiyya said children are less likely to emulate book behavior from an animal character than they are from a person. Learning valuable lessons from books would have a larger impact if the characters were people.

Ahiyya reiterated the importance of reading “mirrors, windows, and sliding doors” books, an idea coined by Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop. Dr. Bishop suggests that we need all three types of books. Mirror books reflect the reader’s experience; they see themselves in the story. Window books help the reader see into other worlds. Sliding glass door books help the reader enter into another world through empathy.   

Finding a “Just Right” Book 

As a classroom teacher, I loved the challenge of matching the perfect book to a student. Learning a student’s interests and reading ability, thinking through my favorite stories, and handing a child a book they loved was highly fulfilling.

I love seeing a kid who is learning to read and cautiously sounding out words, laughing at the book in their hands instead of throwing it down in boredom or frustration. Our school and public librarians create magical storytimes and community outreach events that help libraries become important “third places” for children and families. 

“If we think that children’s books are anything less than real literature, it’s because we think kids are something less than real people. If we believe they’re real people, then they deserve good art.” – Mac Barnett

Resources to find high quality children’s books:

American Indians in Children’s Literature 

Award Winning Books

Caldecott Award Winning Books

The Horn Book

Newbery Award Winning Books

School Library Journal Contenders for Awards

By Megan McQueen.
Spanish translation by  Dr. J Senior Consulting, LLC 

Megan McQueen is a warmhearted teacher, coach, consultant, and writer. She grounds her work in empathetic education, imparting a strong sense of community and social skills to those with which she works. Megan prioritizes emotional learning and problem solving skills. When not at work, she is most likely playing with her husband, two children, and pup.

Learn more about the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative and read our blog!

If you have Black children, you are a Black household.

This seems straightforward, but most people reading this will immediately resist that description. If you pause a little longer, you might realize something crucial: if your children are Black and your household doesn’t actively understand and engage with issues that uplift or impact the Black community, you’re effectively leaving your child to navigate that terrain alone.

There’s a razor-thin line between othering your child and truly accepting the reality that your entire household is affected by what affects them.

If you’re a non-white parent who doesn’t understand society’s impact on Black children, this understanding is imperative. It’s not enough to simply know the statistics—the likelihood that your child could (and most likely is) experiencing racism in school, extracurricular activities, or while engaging with social systems as basic as riding the city bus.

What’s imperative is navigating the nuances of such ignorance with a deep radar for being gaslit and dismissed back into your comfort zone. If your gut is telling you something is off, it is off. If racism wasn’t in your top two explanations, double-check whether you’re avoiding what has been normalized in your world—not necessarily the world your child experiences daily.

If you find yourself asking, “Could it really be…?” It could. And most likely, it is.

What This Looks and Sounds Like

The manifestations are countless:

• Assumptions about behavior leading to predictions of “nefarious pathways”

• Presumptions about likelihood and capability

• Adults showing apparent lack of experience with Black children, then either refusing accountability or using “not knowing” as justification for inaction

• Absence of dialogue around the impact of cultural, racial, and ethnic experiences in our society

• Describing appearance with coded, generally negative words: “wooly,” “frizzy,” “little monkey,” “hyper,” “loud” (when referring to excitement or energy)

• Labeling children as “different” when the real issue is adults’ lack of exposure to Black children

I could go on. They can go on as well.

Some of these incidents might seem “silly” to address. However, your position should align with your child’s experience, not your own understanding of it. It’s crucial that your child isn’t taught to comply just to get along.

Every issue that affects a Black person must fully affect your household. Without this perspective, you effectively leave your child alone to address the fear and, ultimately, the shame of their involuntary inclusion in whatever the Black community is being charged with.

Everything charged to the Black community is being charged to yours.

One privilege of being white is that when the white community faces behavioral accusations, it’s not charged to the entire community. For example, though most mass shooters are white males, we haven’t labeled this demographic as “dangerous when angry and in crowds.” Yet any deficit attributed to the Black community—whether an individual act or not—lands as the responsibility and reflection of the group entirely.

Your child is no exception.

Your Essential Role

As parents, your job is to ensure that in a world directed at invalidating your baby’s existence, you empower your child with this truth: there is nothing—NOTHING—wrong with how they exist.

Your active commitment to engaging with Black history through the eyes of the Black community is essential. You don’t need to be different people. You do, however, need to be well-informed and an active advocate for your child and their community to live unharmed.

Parents are parents—you don’t want anything to happen to your precious child. This is precisely why it’s imperative to examine which lens you’re using when teaching your child how to be in this complicated society.

White parents especially must address their fear of their Black child navigating an aggressive world. (I’ll explore this more in a future post.) After consistent work on your own personal experiences, narratives, and conditioning, the short answer is this: don’t teach them to fear what being Black means.

There’s often a hidden narrative that white parents carry—one that positions their Black child as somehow complicit in persistent stereotypes, or as having innate knowledge about their “racial role.” This usually isn’t conscious.

There is a solution—many, actually. First and foremost: teach your child a deep understanding of their strength, and of the strength, beauty, and brilliance that is their Blackness, however that presents itself.

This foundation of strength and clarity will prove far more valuable when the day comes that they must stand up for themselves—and that day will come.

The concept of a Black home isn’t just about recognition—it’s about transformation. It’s about ensuring that every child who enters your door knows they belong not just in your family, but in this world, exactly as they are.

Ayisha Elliott is a mother, grandmother, and relational parenting guide who understands the beautiful complexity of raising Black children in today’s world. As a mother of three and grandmother of five—currently raising three of her grandchildren—she brings both lived experience and 25 years of professional expertise in relationship-centered approaches to the everyday realities of parenting across generations. From navigating school systems and cultural identity to managing sibling dynamics and travel logistics with children, Ayisha has learned that the same principles that transform organizations can revolutionize family life. As the content producer of the podcast Black Girl From Eugene, award-winning columnist, and sought-after speaker, Ayisha creates authentic conversations about what it means to raise confident, grounded children while honoring their heritage and preparing them for the world as it is. Her unique perspective comes from successfully balancing entrepreneurship with hands-on parenting, traveling internationally with the children she’s raising, and understanding that every parenting decision carries both personal and cultural weight. Through her writing and speaking, Ayisha offers practical wisdom, honest reflection, and relationship-building strategies that help Black families thrive—not just survive—in complex times.

As humans, our everyday experiences make up our lives. Often, we spend our time and attention focused on the big stories or major moments in life. Think of these like waves in the ocean, rising and falling one after another and carrying us along with them. But all the while, it’s our little stories of minor moments that capture the depth and breadth of life. These ripples are what create the shimmer and sparkle over the water that surrounds us.

Over the last few days, I made a list of a few of the little moments that made up my lived experiences.

• Watching a swallowtail butterfly landing briefly on meadow flowers.

• Enjoying how my son dangles a feathered toy on a stick to engage playful kittens.

• Contemplating the phase of the moon and constellations as the night comes.

• Inhaling the sweet smell of roses in the local rose garden.

• Savoring a cup of Earl Gray tea with cream and local honey.

When we pay close enough attention, curiosity, wonder, awe and delight can be found everywhere at any time. And, luckily for us, parenting and teaching allow adults to bear witness to many hours of lived experiences for the children close to them.

Creating safe spaces and opportunities to observe and share thoughts and feelings shows how our everyday experiences are valued. What inspires you? What inspires your child?

To practice, make a list each day of at least ten moments that caught your attention. Some people keep a journal, fill a jar with slips of paper, or make notes. Capture your precious – and simple – observations with short stories, anecdotes, pictures, sketches, or video recordings. I invite you to gather your little moments in a way that best fits your preferences and give it a try. If it works for you, that’s great; it might work for your kiddos, too.

You can support your children’s early journaling by offering them paper and art materials to document their experiences through writing or drawn images. For very young children, adults can write down what the child dictates. The end of the day is often a great time for reflection and capturing these little moments, and it supports a positive rapport between the child and adult and builds greater capacity for connection.

Gratitude and mindfulness go hand in hand, because they’re both about raising our awareness and becoming more present to the meaningful little moments in our lives. A simple practice that we can use to support mindfulness is called the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which includes taking several deep breaths and then tuning into our environment through our five senses. 

First, take three slow belly breaths.

List 5 things you can SEE

List 4 things you can FEEL

List 3 things you can HEAR

List 2 things you can SMELL

List 1 thing you can TASTE

Lastly, take another three slow belly breaths. 

Being grateful and present with our children is a gift for us all. Children often require us to slow down and take note of the many little moments. Perhaps the glacial pace of a fully lived moment is an antidote to the frenzied pace of modern life.

Resources

Want some inspiration on capturing the beauty of nature and cultivating gratitude? Louie Schwartzberg offers us a beautiful reflection through his story and deeply touching video images in the TED Talk on Gratitude.

To learn more about gratitude and related activities that parents and teachers can do with children and adolescents, please check out the links below.

1.     Positive Psychology shares their 20 Gratitude Exercises and Activities to Boost Well-being.

2.     At We are Teachers,  adults who support elementary and middle-school children might want to explore the 36 Meaningful Gratitude Activities.

3.     Pathway to Success offers 30 Gratitude Activities for Children and Teens

Aoife Rose Magee, PhD, earned a doctoral degree in Special Education from the University of Oregon Early Intervention Program. Her personal and professional interests have been largely focused on the social-emotional development of young children and how positive parenting and teaching practices may contribute to healthy development, promote resiliency, and mediate risk factors. Aoife is professional development specialist for students and practitioners in the areas of Early Childhood Education, Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education and Parenting Education.  Aoife serves as a Master Trainer for the Oregon Registry and frequently provides community based and private workshops for early childhood educators, parenting educators, and other professionals. For more than thirty years, she worked directly with families as a parenting educator, and she is a former Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative Hub Coordinator for the Parenting Success Network. She currently teaches as a full-time faculty in the Early Childhood Education Program at Lane Community College. She is also the mother of a fantastic young adult son and enjoys nature and creative pursuits in her spare time.

We live in a digital world. Kids see their grown-ups on devices of all kinds for work, entertainment, navigation…just about everything. Many parenting struggles revolve around screen time – choosing when young children use a tablet, how to get them to stop using the device once they’re on, when to allow our children access to the internet, and when they get phones and social media accounts.

As parenting educators, we may hear about these disagreements. We listen to grown-ups asking for advice on how to enforce rules and what the rules should be. Parents often desperately seek guidance on what they should do with phones, and it may be helpful to have some tools to reference as we respond. 

Build Relationships  

Adults constantly prepare our children for adulthood and model what that can look like. One of the reasons setting screen time limits is challenging is because it is so nuanced. It depends upon the family’s schedule, the child’s maturity, and the kind of technology they use. Joining online communities has excellent opportunities for children to feel connected, especially if they are part of a minoritized group.

We want our children to know what healthy conversations feel like so they can recognize when something feels unhealthy. We want families to spend quality time together, creating memories, partially so the children will be motivated to live a rich life offline. We want children to reach out and process challenges or question misinformation with adults. We have to prioritize close connections with each other so our children know this is valuable.  

Screen Time Guidelines  

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends “​​considering the quality of interactions with digital media.” They do not make specific age and time guidelines because video chatting with long-distance family for 30 minutes is a very different experience from browsing YouTube videos. Families may find it helpful to search Common Sense Media’s “Best of” lists for suggestions for games, movies, apps, etc., for various age groups.

As always, we want to work with families in a way that avoids judgment. Encouraging families to be intentional about their media use by creating a family media plan (In Spanish) may help them feel more comfortable with their expectations for each other.

Modeling healthy screen time usage will be an essential first step for families wanting to adapt their children’s usage of devices. We want to help adults prioritize enough time for sleep, physical activity, and time interacting with others in real life.  

Adolescents  

A wide range of ages are included in this phase, which necessitates different strategies and responses. Seventeen-year-olds need more opportunities to make their own decisions than thirteen-year-olds. We know this age group values their privacy and independence, and we want to stay in a positive relationship with them as they develop their skills.

Encouraging families to find the balance that works for them is crucial. Each teen is different. News headlines may concern families about the possible damaging effects of social media and countries banning access for kids.

Encourage grown-ups to sit with their child in an open, curious manner and see what comes up on their social media. Algorithms promote very different content based on our demographics and viewing habits. Keep an eye out for harmful messages, including racism, fatphobia, sexism, etc. According to the American Psychological Association, these are common in gaming and social media platforms and require conversations to process.

We don’t want these messages normalized. Adults can remind teens to talk with them if they are concerned about the health or safety of someone in person or online. Adolescence is a significant time of mentorship for our teens.  

Social Media & AI 

Children of all ages are increasingly more and more engaged with social media such as YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, and more. According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s office, “up to 95% of youth ages 13–17 report using a social media platform, with more than a third saying they use social media ‘almost constantly.’” Additionally, AI tools have quickly been integrated into these spaces. These quick developments make it more important than ever to support children in being responsible and conscientious tech users.  

There isn’t an easy answer to this yet. Some tips from the U.S. Surgeon General’s office in mitigating some of the harmful impacts of social media include: 

• Be cautious about what you share. 

• Don’t keep online harassment or abuse a secret.  

• Visit stopbullying.gov for helpful tips on how to report cyberbullying. If you have experienced online harassment and abuse by a dating partner, contact an expert at Love is Respect for support or if your private images have been taken and shared online without your permission, visit Take it Down to help get them removed. 

• Model responsible social media behavior. 

• Educate yourself on new technologies such as a new social media site or AI tool, especially on their privacy policies and how they protect minors’ safety and rights. 

Supporting families through these challenges with an even-keeled stability will help them stay grounded. We can empathize when we listen to their struggles and notice their frustration. Reminding families there is research to help them work through decisions.

Emphasize that the main goals are for their family to stay in a relationship with each other and for the adults to mentor their children through new experiences. They can make a plan, change course as needed, and have fun together. 

Resources: 

Common Sense Media 

Connect Safely (Guías rápidas en español) 

Growing Up in Public by Devorah Heitner 

Screentime Consultant 

Screentime Solution by Emily Cherkin 

Tweens, Teens, and Screens (OPEC blog post) 

SafetyNet: Smart Cyber Choices trainings from KIDS Center (free, in English and Spanish) 

By Megan McQueen. Spanish translation by IRCO’s International Language Bank.

Megan McQueen is a warmhearted teacher, coach, consultant, and writer. She grounds her work in empathetic education, imparting a strong sense of community and social skills to those with which she works. Megan prioritizes emotional learning and problem solving skills. When not at work, she is most likely playing with her husband, two children, and pup.

Learn more about the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative and read our blog!