3 Essential Strategies for Effective “Team Parenting”

Posted on June 20, 2016 - 9:07 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Team Parenting

When you and your partner work as a team to parent your child, you will both feel more supported. After all, you both have the common goal of raising your child to be healthy, happy and successful.Working as a team doesn’t mean you will never disagree! At some point, all parents will differ or argue at about raising their child. After all, you are individual people with different ideas, skills, values, histories and personalities. You are also coping with the stress of parenting.It’s not, however, whether you disagree, but how you handle the disagreements. Even if you and the person you parent with have different parenting styles, you can still parent together effectively.

1. Communicate, Communicate, and Then Communicate More

Effective communication is a key to parenting together.

Make sure you both understand each other’s basic ideas or values about parenting. Talk about it or take a parenting class together.

Know and respect each other’s specific family and cultural history. What do you want to keep? What would you like to do differently?

Put aside time to come to general agreements about “daily” issues or rules – bedtime, meals, screen time, as well as major issues or persistent challenges.

Talk about parenting issues, especially major ones, when you are both calm. Don’t try to address a major issue when you are in the heat of an argument or when you’re struggling with your child over a specific behavior. Set the issue aside until you can talk calmly.

If you feel uncomfortable with how your partner has dealt with a particular situation, don’t blame them or give them harsh criticism, especially in front of your child. Be constructive, provide feedback and tell them how you feel.

We all make mistakes. Be kind to your partner and to yourself when you inevitably make some mistakes with each other.

2. Be Flexible

What is really important to you and your idea of parenting? For example:

Is learning to always say please and thank you important to your values?

Is restricting TV time something you feel is an absolute?

Is making a mess part of being creative?

Which things would you prefer to happen, but are willing to negotiate about? Can you be accommodating about your child’s bedtime if certain bedtime rituals are important to your partner?Appreciate each other’s viewpoints and needs. Be flexible and see where you both can compromise.

3. Let the Moment Pass, then Check-in

Even with lots of communication and agreements, there are bound to be times when your partner manages a situation in a way you don’t agree with. Of course, if you believe your partner is being emotionally or physically abusive to your child, that IS the time to interfere in the moment.However, if that is not the case, don’t over-react in the moment. They may have a very good reason for the way they responded. Check in with your partner about their actions. It’s important, especially for younger children, to see that their parents are united and working as a team. Stability and consistency make children feel safe and confident.

When You Can’t Make the Team Work

Sometimes you and your partner are having general problems in your relationship that are interfering with your ability to parent together. It can be easy to ignore your relationship when parenting together, but addressing relationship problems is essential and will help you be able to work better as a team.It can be hard to come to parenting agreements if you and your partner have rigid parenting roles – such as one person who is always the “fun” parent and the other the “strict” parent. Try for flexibility.Sometimes you and your partner might come to an impasse and are not be able to work out agreements. You may need outside help.

Consider seeing a counselor.

Join a parenting group where you can talk with other parents and have some guidance from professional Parenting Educators on issues of discipline and more, as well as positive ways to communicate with your parenting partner.

Parent Harmony

You may not always be in perfect harmony with your partner, but you can sing sweetly together!Communicate what your values and ideas are about parenting. Support each other by agreeing about general rules, guidelines and discipline. Compromise and be flexible about places you don’t agree. When your partner is disciplining your child, back them up in the moment and talk about the issue later when you are alone and calm. Your child will benefit if she or he sees you as a team working together and you will create a more harmonious home.Share this post of your Facebook page and see how other parents are managing to try to be in harmony with each other when disciplining their children!

This article is brought to you by Parenting Now Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz, and consultant Jay Thompson. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now, please visit their website or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

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Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Triple P page.

Quality over Quantity: How to improve the time and attention you give to your children

Posted on March 22, 2016 - 12:04 am by Early Childhood Hub

Everyone at every age needs attention! It feels good when someone focuses his or her full attention on you. Being attentive also feels good to your infant or toddler (and older children). For children, getting attention is even more important than for adults. Children need attention in order to grow, develop self-esteem and a positive sense of identity, and to flourish and succeed. There’s even research showing that parental attentiveness has a connection to releasing children’s growth hormones.Of course, you want to give your child attention. Sometimes though, it seems they need lots and lots of attention and time, more than perhaps you feel you have. You don’t have to be there every minute of every day, but do consider when to give them attention, how much to give, and what kind of attention works best.

The Basics

When your infant or toddler cries because they are hungry, physically uncomfortable or sick, for example, it’s critical you respond to their immediate physical needs. Your response also shows them your love and teaches them they have an effect on the world. Your infant or toddler has many emotional needs too.

Be attentive to your Child’s emotional needs by

Smiling

Hugging, kissing or cuddling with them

Talking in a gentle and soothing voice (even if they are not talking yet)

Singing and reading to them

Holding their hand so they feel safe when you are out in the world

Be There Fully

You can’t be there all the time, but when you are there make it count!Some experts say with 15 minutes of fully-focused attention, children will feel satisfied and independent for the next half hour or so. You can be fully attentive to your child and then attend to that work email or the dishes.

How to make the time count

Put down your phone, tablet or other device.

Avoid vague judging words, even if they seem positive, like “good job.” Instead respond specifically and descriptively – “You made a really big ball with that clay.”

Try being at eye level with your toddler. If you are from a culture that looks at people directly, look your child in the eyes when engaging with them.

Take cues from your child. Use what’s called “Incidental Teaching.” On the coast and tired of answering a million “why” questions about the ocean? Ask your child “How deep do YOU think the ocean is?” Likely, they’ll have no idea, but you can spark their imagination and maybe even stop the current round of why questions while they learn. And you may be amazed with what they tell you!

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

If you give your child attention for negative behavior, they can get the message, “If I want mom’s attention, I can throw this dish on the floor.” What can you do instead?

Instead of giving your child attention for negative behaviors, try:

Emphasizing the Positive. If your child often pulls the cat’s tail, but you notice a time when she is petting him, let her know you are paying attention – “The cat really likes it when you pet him so carefully. See how he purrs. I love how gentle you are.”

Helping your child name feelings: “You look angry that the cat won’t play with you.”

Suggesting alternatives and distractions: “The cat won’t play with you now. Let’s take the dog up Skinner Butte. She’ll like that.”

Trying to discover what may be behind the behavior. If negative behaviors persist, even for a short time, there may be something else going on. Your child might be in the early stages of an illness before they show any obvious symptoms, for example. They may not feel well, but don’t know how to express it. Perhaps they had a disappointment at child care that is making them feel insecure or frustrated.

Be patient. Remember your child is trying to get their needs met in the best and often only ways they know.

Put Away the Cape!

Not even Supermom or Superdad can be attentive to their child 24/7. You don’t need to be a Superhero. You can, however, give your child focused and necessary attention. Remember to smile at them and hug them and sing to them and listen to their interests. When you do, your child will know and trust that they are loved and cared for, and learn to be self-confident and independent too.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Ten Great Strategies for Communicating With Toddlers

Posted on July 10, 2013 - 8:37 pm by Early Childhood Hub

We have all heard the term, the “terrible twos.” What is it that makes this such an infamous time in child development? This stage can be challenging for parents and toddlers alike, as each toddler tries to find a balance between autonomy and dependence. Differing opinions about how to handle toddler behaviors are common. However, negotiating is a method of communicating we can use with toddlers and model with each other, which teaches toddlers how to get their needs met while being respectful of the needs of others. Though we have all seen children show concern when they hear a friend crying, their general perception of the world is that it revolves around them. Sharing and being sympathetic are skills that may take years to learn and should be encouraged, not forced. Children are also mirrors. They reflect back what they see and hear. Adults need to be aware of this and aware that they are role models. When you start with healthy, open, respectful relationships with toddlers, negotiating then becomes an important opportunity for learning.

Following is a list of 10 strategies to consider when negotiating with toddlers:

Be aware of your child and his or her means and methods of communication. Is Suzette pulling on Thomas’ hair because she is frustrated with him, enjoying the power to make him yell, or learning that hair is attached? Does she have words to use? Is this the first time she has done this or the twelfth? This type of information provides parents and caregivers with a better perspective toward helping Suzette.
Know yourself and your own emotions. Adults have the same needs and feelings as children do. Model healthy acceptance of the child’s emotional development by acknowledging that we have similar feelings. It is important to remember that a calm voice and reassuring manner can be effective tools in negotiating with an upset or excited child.
Be authentic — that is honest, real, and nonjudgmental — in adult-child interactions. When we are respectful, children perceive that they are worthy of respect, as are others.
Validate feelings. It is OK for children to cry or be afraid or feel frustrated. It may be beneficial to give labels to the emotions (for example, “Are you feeling sad? Do you want to come and sit with me?” or “It looks like you really want to use the toy that Darnell is using”). Often people just want their frustrations to be acknowledged and their feelings accepted. By encouraging children to express themselves verbally, we are also facilitating language development.
Address the behavior, not the child, when a behavior occurs that is not appropriate. For example, if a child is acting aggressively toward another child, try statements such as, “Hitting hurts people. If you are angry with Christiana, please talk to her.” (This is preferable to “You’re being a bad girl. You know not to hit!”) Redirection is often helpful too (for instance, “It is not safe to run in the classroom. Would you like to go outside and run?”).
Offer real choices whenever possible. Allowing children to make a choice shows them respect and empowers them. “Do you want your diaper changed?” is not a real choice. Instead, try “It’s time to change your diaper. Would you like to choose your new diaper or should I?”
Give notice on upcoming transitions. By giving a five-minute warning before cleanup time, you allow children to finish their play or make arrangements to do so later. There is security and comfort in knowing what will be happening next.
Explain rules clearly and concisely. Again, young children find security in predictability; therefore, it is important to have clear guidelines and as few rules as possible. Be prompt and consistent, and follow through with consequences.
Allow time for problem solving. This is a tricky area. It is difficult to watch children struggle. Our first impulse is to “make it better.” However, being supportive and allowing time for a child to work things out has many benefits. Watch for the smile on your child’s face when he or she figures out how to put together a puzzle or solves a social problem on his or her own! Learning and self confidence grow from moderately stressful situations — situations that challenge a child but that she or he can handle.
Acknowledge efforts and successes. Positive reinforcement can be very important to a child. For example, to hear a child who often bites say “I don’t like that” instead of biting, using a comment such as “Twyla! I heard you use your words” can be very validating.

As challenging as this stage of development can be for toddlers and their parents, it is also a time of delightful exploration and fascinated wonder. Language is blossoming and friendships are blooming. Communication styles and negotiation skills are an integral part of who we are. By facilitating and supporting this process with toddlers, we are contributing to their social and emotional development and well-being.

Patricia Nixon is the lead teacher of the Infant/toddler classroom at the Children’s Center at the University of California in Santa Barbara, California, E: trischi@silcom.com. This article was first published in the Head Start Bulletin, Issue No. 68

Encouraging Your Child’s Interests

Posted on April 10, 2013 - 9:56 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Sparks, as the Search Institute refers to them, are your child’s interests, their passions or focus that bring meaning, joy and energy into their life. Depending on your child’s age, experiences and temperament you may be quite aware of what makes your child light up inside, or you might not have a clue. Sometimes these change for our children, as they do for us.Being interested in and encouraging of these sparks can make a huge difference for your child. Research has shown that kids who have caring adults in their lives who support them in their interests do better in school, develop positive peer friendships, have a greater sense of empathy and desire to help others. Kids whose parents, family and community encourage them to develop their sparks are healthier, engage in fewer risk taking behaviors and are more satisfied with their lives overall.Finding out what interests your child can be a fun and wonderful journey. The best way to find out what interests your child is to explore new experiences with them.

Here are some simple tips to keep in mind when trying new activities with your child:

Remember to enjoy the journey. Don’t push your child to find out what they like, it will defeat the purpose.
Encourage curiosity and questions. Explore answers together. Sometimes the many questions of a curious child can be overwhelming. Support your child in finding the answers themselves (or with you). Together you can look up an answer online or ask a librarian how to research a topic.
Watch your child during this process and listen to them. Try not to make these activities about you, but allow your child to explore without pressure. This is important because finding out that we like something can make us feel vulnerable or unsure at first. Allowing your child to go through this process naturally will help them identify what they like and what brings them joy. This is the time to observe. When your child lights up as they plant their first garden or asks for follow-up music lessons, create more opportunities for them to do what they are gravitating towards.
Have fun in the process! No matter if your child finds their “spark” through the activities you do together or through some other avenue – when you spend time together you are building a stronger relationship with your child.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Developmental Milestones for Children Age 2 – 5 Years

Posted on February 27, 2013 - 11:21 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Skills such as taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and waving “bye bye” are all called developmental milestones. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (crawling, walking, etc.).How your child plays, learns, speaks, and acts offer important clues about your child’s development.Check the milestones your child has reached by the end of each developmental phase. Take this information with you and talk with your child’s doctor at every visit about the milestones your child has reached and what to expect next.The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children be screened for general development using standardized, validated tools at 9, 18, and 24 or 30 months and for autism at 18 and 24 months or whenever a parent or provider has a concern. Ask your child’s doctor about your child’s developmental screening.”Learn the signs. Act early.” materials are not a substitute for standardized, validated developmental screening tools.

If You’re Concerned – Act Early

Tell your child’s doctor or nurse if you notice any of these signs of possible developmental delay for this age, and talk with someone in your community who is familiar with services for young children in your area, such as Early Childhood CARES at (541) 346-2578.

Two Years:

What most children do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Copies others, especially adults and older children
Gets excited when with other children
Shows more and more independence
Shows defiant behavior (doing what he has been told not to)
Plays mainly beside other children, but is beginning to include other children, such as in chase games

Language/Communication

Points to things or pictures when they are named
Knows names of familiar people and body parts
Says sentences with 2 to 4 words
Follows simple instructions
Repeats words overheard in conversation
Points to things in a book

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Finds things even when hidden under two or three covers
Begins to sort shapes and colors
Completes sentences and rhymes in familiar books
Plays simple make-believe games
Builds towers of 4 or more blocks
Might use one hand more than the other
Follows two-step instructions such as “Pick up your shoes and put them in the closet.”
Names items in a picture book such as a cat, bird, or dog

Movement/Physical Development

Stands on tiptoe
Kicks a ball
Begins to run
Climbs onto and down from furniture without help
Walks up and down stairs holding on
Throws ball overhand
Makes or copies straight lines and circles

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t use 2-word phrases (for example, “drink milk”)
Doesn’t know what to do with common things, like a brush, phone, fork, spoon
Doesn’t copy actions and words
Doesn’t follow simple instructions
Doesn’t walk steadily
Loses skills she once had

Three Years:

What most children do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Copies adults and friends
Shows affection for friends without prompting
Takes turns in games
Shows concern for crying friend
Understands the idea of “mine” and “his” or “hers”
Shows a wide range of emotions
Separates easily from mom and dad
May get upset with major changes in routine
Dresses and undresses self

Language/Communication

Follows instructions with 2 or 3 steps
Can name most familiar things
Understands words like “in,” “on,” and “under”
Says first name, age, and sex
Names a friend
Says words like “I,” “me,” “we,” and “you” and some plurals (cars, dogs, cats)
Talks well enough for strangers to understand most of the time
Carries on a conversation using 2 to 3 sentences

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Can work toys with buttons, levers, and moving parts
Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people
Does puzzles with 3 or 4 pieces
Understands what “two” means
Copies a circle with pencil or crayon
Turns book pages one at a time
Builds towers of more than 6 blocks
Screws and unscrews jar lids or turns door handle

Movement/Physical Development

Climbs well
Runs easily
Pedals a tricycle (3-wheel bike)
Walks up and down stairs, one foot on each step

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Falls down a lot or has trouble with stairs
Drools or has very unclear speech
Can’t work simple toys (such as peg boards, simple puzzles, turning handle)
Doesn’t speak in sentences
Doesn’t understand simple instructions
Doesn’t play pretend or make-believe
Doesn’t want to play with other children or with toys
Doesn’t make eye contact
Loses skills he once had

Four Years:

What most children do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Enjoys doing new things
Plays “Mom” and “Dad”
Is more and more creative with make-believe play
Would rather play with other children than by himself
Cooperates with other children
Often can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
Talks about what she likes and what she is interested in

Language/Communication

Knows some basic rules of grammar, such as correctly using “he” and “she”
Sings a song or says a poem from memory such as the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or the “Wheels on the Bus”
Tells stories
Can say first and last name

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Names some colors and some numbers
Understands the idea of counting
Starts to understand time
Remembers parts of a story
Understands the idea of “same” and “different”
Draws a person with 2 to 4 body parts
Uses scissors
Starts to copy some capital letters
Plays board or card games
Tells you what he thinks is going to happen next in a book

Movement/Physical Development

Hops and stands on one foot up to 2 seconds
Catches a bounced ball most of the time
Pours, cuts with supervision, and mashes own food

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Can’t jump in place
Has trouble scribbling
Shows no interest in interactive games or make-believe
Ignores other children or doesn’t respond to people outside the family
Resists dressing, sleeping, and using the toilet
Can’t retell a favorite story
Doesn’t follow 3-part commands
Doesn’t understand “same” and “different”
Doesn’t use “me” and “you” correctly
Speaks unclearly
Loses skills he once had

Five Years:

What most children do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Wants to please friends
Wants to be like friends
More likely to agree with rules
Likes to sing, dance, and act
Shows concern and sympathy for others
Is aware of gender
Can tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
Shows more independence (for example, may visit a next-door neighbor by himself [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][adult supervision is still needed])
Is sometimes demanding and sometimes very cooperative

Language/Communication

Speaks very clearly
Tells a simple story using full sentences
Uses future tense; for example, “Grandma will be here.”
Says name and address

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Counts 10 or more things
Can draw a person with at least 6 body parts
Can print some letters or numbers
Copies a triangle and other geometric shapes
Knows about things used every day, like money and food

Movement/Physical Development

Stands on one foot for 10 seconds or longer
Hops; may be able to skip
Can do a somersault
Uses a fork and spoon and sometimes a table knife
Can use the toilet on her own
Swings and climbs

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t show a wide range of emotions
Shows extreme behavior (unusually fearful, aggressive, shy or sad)
Unusually withdrawn and not active
Is easily distracted, has trouble focusing on one activity for more than 5 minutes
Doesn’t respond to people, or responds only superficially
Can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
Doesn’t play a variety of games and activities
Can’t give first and last name
Doesn’t use plurals or past tense properly
Doesn’t talk about daily activities or experiences
Doesn’t draw pictures
Can’t brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help
Loses skills he once had

www.cdc.gov Adapted from CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD: BIRTH TO AGE 5, Fifth Edition, edited by Steven Shelov and Tanya Remer Altmann © 1991, 1993, 1998, 2004, 2009 by the American Academy of Pediatrics and BRIGHT FUTURES: GUIDELINES FOR HEALTH SUPERVISION OF INFANTS, CHILDREN, AND ADOLESCENTS, Third Edition, edited by Joseph Hagan, Jr., Judith S. Shaw, and Paula M. Duncan, 2008, Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics.

Developmental Milestones for Infants through Age 1

Posted on February 27, 2013 - 11:16 pm by Early Childhood Hub

If You’re Concerned – Act Early

Two Months:

What most babies do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Begins to smile at people
Can briefly calm himself (may bring hands to mouth and suck on hand)
Tries to look at parent

Language/Communication

Coos, makes gurgling sounds
Turns head toward sounds

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Pays attention to faces
Begins to follow things with eyes and recognize people at a distance
Begins to act bored (cries, fussy) if activity doesn’t change

Movement/Physical Development

Can hold head up and begins to push up when lying on tummy
Makes smoother movements with arms and legs

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t respond to loud sounds
Doesn’t watch things as they move
Doesn’t smile at people
Doesn’t bring hands to mouth
Can’t hold head up when pushing up when on tummy

Four Months:

What most babies do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Smiles spontaneously, especially at people
Likes to play with people and might cry when playing stops
Copies some movements and facial expressions, like smiling or frowning

Language/Communication

Begins to babble
Babbles with expression and copies sounds he hears
Cries in different ways to show hunger, pain, or being tired

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Lets you know if she is happy or sad
Responds to affection
Reaches for toy with one hand
Uses hands and eyes together, such as seeing a toy and reaching for it
Follows moving things with eyes from side to side
Watches faces closely
Recognizes familiar people and things at a distance

Movement/Physical Development

Holds head steady, unsupported
Pushes down on legs when feet are on a hard surface
May be able to roll over from tummy to back
Can hold a toy and shake it and swing at dangling toys
Brings hands to mouth
When lying on stomach, pushes up to elbows

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t watch things as they move
Doesn’t smile at people
Can’t hold head steady
Doesn’t coo or make sounds
Doesn’t bring things to mouth
Doesn’t push down with legs when feet are placed on a hard surface
Has trouble moving one or both eyes in all directions

Six Months:

What most babies do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Knows familiar faces and begins to know if someone is a stranger
Likes to play with others, especially parents
Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy
Likes to look at self in a mirror

Language/Communication

Responds to sounds by making sounds
Strings vowels together when babbling (“ah,” “eh,” “oh”) and likes taking turns with parent while making sounds
Responds to own name
Makes sounds to show joy and displeasure
Begins to say consonant sounds (jabbering with “m,” “b”)

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Looks around at things nearby
Brings things to mouth
Shows curiosity about things and tries to get things that are out of reach
Begins to pass things from one hand to the other

Movement/Physical Development

Rolls over in both directions (front to back, back to front)
Begins to sit without support
When standing, supports weight on legs and might bounce
Rocks back and forth, sometimes crawling backward before moving forward

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t try to get things that are in reach
Shows no affection for caregivers
Doesn’t respond to sounds around him
Has difficulty getting things to mouth
Doesn’t make vowel sounds (“ah”, “eh”, “oh”)
Doesn’t roll over in either direction
Doesn’t laugh or make squealing sounds
Seems very stiff, with tight muscles
Seems very floppy, like a rag doll

Nine Months:

What most babies do at this age:

Social and Emotional

May be afraid of strangers
May be clingy with familiar adults
Has favorite toys

Language/Communication

Understands “no”
Makes a lot of different sounds like “mamamama” and “bababababa”
Copies sounds and gestures of others
Uses fingers to point at things

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Watches the path of something as it falls
Looksfor things he sees you hide
Plays peek-a-boo
Puts things in her mouth
Moves things smoothly from one hand to the other
Picks up things like cereal o’s between thumb and index finger

Movement/Physical Development

Stands, holding on
Can get into sitting position
Sits without support
Pulls to stand
Crawls

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t bear weight on legs with support
Doesn’t sit with help
Doesn’t babble (“mama”, “baba”, “dada”)
Doesn’t play any games involving back-and-forth play
Doesn’t respond to own name
Doesn’t seem to recognize familiar people
Doesn’t look where you point
Doesn’t transfer toys from one hand to the other

One Year:

What most children do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Is shy or nervous with strangers
Cries when mom or dad leaves
Has favorite things and people
Shows fear in some situations
Hands you a book when he wants to hear a story
Repeats sounds or actions to get attention
Puts out arm or leg to help with dressing
Plays games such as “peek-a-boo” and “pat-a-cake”

Language/Communication

Responds to simple spoken requests
Uses simple gestures, like shaking head “no” or waving “bye-bye”
Makes sounds with changes in tone (sounds more like speech)
Says “mama” and “dada” and exclamations like “uh-oh!”
Tries to say words you say

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Explores things in different ways, like shaking, banging, throwing
Finds hidden things easily
Looks at the right picture or thing when it’s named
Copies gestures
Starts to use things correctly; for example, drinks from a cup, brushes hair
Bangs two things together
Puts things in a container, takes things out of a container
Lets things go without help
Pokes with index(pointer) finger
Follows simple directions like “pick up the toy”

Movement/Physical Development

Gets to a sitting position without help
Pulls up to stand, walks holding on to furniture (“cruising”)
May take a few steps without holding on
May stand alone

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t crawl
Can’t stand when supported
Doesn’t search for things that she sees you hide
Doesn’t say single words like “mama” or “dada”
Doesn’t learn gestures like waving or shaking head
Doesn’t point to things
Loses skills he once had

Eighteen Months:

What most babies do at this age:

Social and Emotional

Likes to hand things to others as play
May have temper tantrums
May be afraid of strangers
Shows affection to familiar people
Plays simple pretend, such as feeding a doll
May cling to caregivers in new situations
Points to show others something interesting
Explores alone but with parent close by

Language/Communication

Says several single words
Says and shakes head “no”
Points to show someone what he wants

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

Knows what ordinary things are for; for example, telephone, brush, spoon
Points to get the attention of others
Shows interest in a doll or stuffed animal by pretending to feed
Points to one body part
Scribbles on his own
Can follow 1-step verbal commands without any gestures; for example, sits when you say “sit down”

Movement/Physical Development

Walks alone
May walk up steps and run
Pulls toys while walking
Can help undress herself
Drinks from a cup
Eats with a spoon

Act early by talking to your child’s doctor if your child:

Doesn’t point to show things to others
Can’t walk
Doesn’t know what familiar things are for
Doesn’t copy others
Doesn’t gain new words
Doesn’t have at least 6 words
Doesn’t notice or mind when a caregiver leaves or returns
Loses skills he once had