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Tips for Reducing In-Person Learning Anxieties

Posted on March 23, 2021 - 12:46 am by Early Childhood Hub

With COVID-19 restrictions lifting, children are starting to resume some in-person learning at school. Many schools have individualized plans when it comes to hybrid learning, but whether your child is returning for just a few hours per week or is returning to full-time in person learning, it’s likely that many kiddos will experience some level of stress and anxiety. It’s normal for young children to feel anxious during the first couple weeks of school as they adjust to being away from their parents—this is going to be especially true during a pandemic year. Fortunately, there are strategies you can use to help reduce your child’s concerns about returning to in-person school.

Prep talk

It has been a strange year for children—and parents. Many children haven’t been with their friends in person in almost a year, met their teacher face-to-face, or stepped foot in their school. On top of that, students are returning to school in masks with physical distancing protocols in place. Needless to say, this is new territory for everyone.One of the best tools you have is to talk with your kids ahead of time. This may start with a simple conversation:

“Your teachers think it’s safe for students to return to school. You will get to see your classroom, meet your classmates, and say hello to your teacher in-person! How do you feel about that?” Then validate their feelings.

If they express fears or worries, don’t discount them or tell them they shouldn’t feel that way. Express empathy, validate feelings, and tell them you understand and you can continue to check in and talk about it through this change: “Sounds like you are a little nervous about this and that is normal. Let’s talk about it some more.”

“Let’s put a star on the calendar to show us when your first day back to school is. We can start a countdown until we get to March 30. Your teachers are so excited to read books with you and paint pictures. You will make new friends and have lots of fun!” ”

List some of the fun things they can expect to do at school: See friends in person, learn new things, play on the playground.

Once you’ve talked about the basics of returning to school, you can go into some age-appropriate specifics and tactics for managing anxieties around returning to in-person school. New routines are hard at first, and your child may be more tired out after school than you expect. The additional stimulation of interacting with others can feel overwhelming to some kids. Make sure your child gets plenty of rest. Offering a healthy breakfast is important as well, especially if your child is used to snacking through the day during their time learning at home.

Elementary age:

Talk about safety expectations, such as wearing a mask at school, keeping physical distance between friends and teachers, washing hands frequently, etc.

Older children might also benefit from a conversation about the safety protocols their school has in place for reducing the spread of illnesses, such as deep cleaning of workspaces, utilizing outdoor classrooms as much as possible, etc. Knowing this information might help reduce fears around getting sick.

Preschool and Kindergarten:

Let your child know that they will need to wear their mask—let them pick out a new face mask for school—in the classroom. If needed, have them practice wearing it at home for an extended period of time.

Read books about starting school. For some early learners, this may be their first time attending school and being away from home. Scholastic.com, as well as the Eugene Public Library and Springfield Public Library, offer a great list of books about getting ready for the first day of school.

Create a social story. Young children like to know what’s coming next. Creating a daily schedule chart or social story that shows what your child will do at school. Many preschool teachers use a visual schedule at school, which you could ask to replicate. Here is a sample social story.

Once school officially resumes, consider:

Keeping a family photo in your child’s backpack.

Leaving love notes, paper hearts, or stickers in their lunch box.

Create a goodbye ritual like a special handshake or “hug, hug, kiss, kiss, high five, goodbye.”

These small gestures can have a big impact on how your child manages their anxiety at school. It’s going to take time for your child to get used to the new routine and school schedule. Stick with your routine and stay informed of your school’s safety procedures and protocols. Parents and children alike are working through this together.

This article is brought to you by Parenting Now Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz, and consultant Jay Thompson. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now, please visit their website or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Triple P page.

An Extra Special Little Girl: one mother’s experience supporting a child with Cerebral Palsy

Posted on March 5, 2021 - 7:45 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Five years ago a daunting diagnosis was entering our life and most things have not been the same since. I’ve faced frightening and complex information about the thing that matters most to me in this life. My daughter was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at 9 months old. We were immediately connected with Early Intervention services. When our journey began my daughter was extremely behind on her development, she had vision issues, she had trouble eating and swallowing, she couldn’t sit up or roll over, she struggled with sensory issues, her muscles were very tight, she was uncomfortable and cried all the time.

Therapy and early intervention services helped us set small reasonable goals with physical therapy, occupational therapy, feeding, and sensory issues. I began navigating the system for services that I’d previously worked in for 13 years. Even with that experience it’s been extremely difficult to navigate. The amount of time it takes for appointments 2 hours away for pediatric specialties makes it impossible to hold a full time job.

Being a Mommy of an extra special little girl can feel isolating much of the time, but because of that our lives have been touched by some of the most kindhearted and devoted people that walk the earth. Therapy, and Early Intervention services gave me hope after her diagnosis and showed me there is life after diagnosis. We will forever be grateful for our team. The work they do everyday changes lives and gives young children with disabilities a fair start and the opportunity they deserve to learn and reach their best potential. I can’t express enough how important early intervention services really are!

Editor’s note: While most of you have heard of Cerebral Palsy (CP), we know not everyone knows about its cause or how it affects people. Nina was kind enough to share some information about CP and how you can show your support this March for CP Awareness!

What is Cerebral Palsy?

Cerebral Palsy (CP) is the most common disability in the world and impacts over 18 million people; however, no two people are affected the same way. It’s a physical disability caused by a brain injury during pregnancy, birth, or shortly after birth. It affects movement, coordination, muscle tone and control, reflexes, posture and balance. Additionally, there are often co-occurring conditions such as intellectual impairment, epilepsy, behavior disorders, sleep disorders, impaired vision, autism, and/or impaired hearing. Limitations associated with this condition are influenced by the location of the brain injury and the intensity of it.While there is still no cure for CP, prompt treatment will drastically improve a child’s long term capabilities and quality of life. The earlier treatment begins, the better chance children have of overcoming developmental disabilities and learning new ways to accomplish the tasks that challenge them every day. Every case is as unique as the person who has it and every child with CP is still a child. They need love, guidance, play, support, creativity and rules. They are all individuals with varying interests, personalities, gifts, talents, opinions, relationships and lives.

How can you get involved and show your support?

Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day gives us an opportunity to raise awareness of CP in our communities. It’s a day that will remind us we’ve come a long way, but we still have work to do! On March 25th, Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day, don’t forget to wear the color green to show your support and educate others.

Nina Watkins is the mother of two young children, 8 years old and 5 years old, living in Lane County. We love the outdoors and the cold snowy weather is our favorite!

Single Parenting During a Pandemic

Posted on March 5, 2021 - 1:10 am by Early Childhood Hub

It’s no secret that parents are struggling right now as we approach the 1-year anniversary of the COVID-19 quarantine and associated restrictions. This is especially true for single parents. Managing your job, childcare, homeschooling and being responsible for caring for your children all day every day takes a toll.

You’ve heard this before, especially as a single parent: it’s important that you put on your oxygen mask first so you can best care for others, and there are tips and tricks you can try to help manage some of the stressors you may be currently experiencing. Now is the time to really take this to heart.

Remember the basics

We are busy balancing remote school and work, plus all the care and feeding of our children as we spend more time at home than ever before. It can be easy to forget some of the basics of parenting that just make life a little easier. If things are feeling “off” or maybe you just need a fresh start, it might be a good time to remember the basics.

Routines: Having a routine to your child’s day doesn’t mean that you have to micromanage their entire day, penciling in fun activities every hour just to keep your child entertained. Making a routine is more about having a predictable schedule that your child can count on and feel comforted by. When they can know and expect what is next in their day, they feel safe. To get started, make a nighttime routine for you and your kiddos. Do what works for your family—factoring in work schedules, extracurriculars, bedtimes, etc. Generally, dinner, followed by bath, teeth brushing, story, and lights out works well for many families with young children. Whatever your routine, your child will feel comforted by knowing what comes next.

Set Limits: Children of all ages need limits. Toddlers may need limits when it comes to “helping in the kitchen,” while older children may need limits around how much time they are allowed to play video games. As a single parent, setting consistent limits and sticking to them can help you avoid spending too much of your time explaining and re-explaining rules to your child.

Be Consistent: As a single parent, you are the one always saying “OK, just one more story,” or “no, you can’t eat cookies for breakfast.” Whatever limits you need to set, be consistent and follow through. Your child will form needed habits and you can avoid them feeling disappointed and confusion when you are consistent in your rules. Explaining to your child why yesterday there were three bedtime stories, but tonight only one, can cause possible meltdowns, take away quality time with your child, and is also just confusing for them. Try to find rules that you can follow through on both easy and challenging days.

Remember To Have Fun: When you are responsible for all of your child’s discipline and logistics, it can be hard to find time to play together, or just be together. Take even five minutes to look at the clouds together or let your toddler chase you around the table. Remember, that it’s quality over quantity. Meaning, your child will appreciate even just 10 minutes of your undivided attention before you start making dinner. Special time each day for each child, even if it’s only 10 minutes, may make your child more willing to follow the limits you set later. This will build the relationship you have with each other, including trust and respect.

Let It Go: During this busy and challenging time, it’s OK to adjust your expectations and put off “big” projects. Laundry and dishes don’t have to be put away immediately; the attic can be cleaned out later. Your child is the age she is for a very short time. Embrace opportunities for positive interaction over chores sometimes. Let the laundry sit in the basket for a while. Additionally, you will reduce your stress when you don’t expect perfection from yourself.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

The Art of Raising a Humble Winner and Gracious Loser

Posted on February 18, 2021 - 12:13 am by Early Childhood Hub

“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose.” — Wilma Rudolph, Olympic champion

We all love to win—whether it’s in a board game, sport, or even a race with your sibling. It can make us feel good and push us to give our best effort, but it can also lead to hurt feelings when we don’t win or, worse, treat the “loser” poorly when we do win.It’s not uncommon for children—and adults—to struggle with their feelings around losing and winning. You might notice your child:

Have a meltdown if her team loses on the ball field.

Unwilling to acknowledge improvements in their skills in the face of losing, or want to give up.

Brag too much if their team won.

Refuse to participate in anything that they don’t think they can win.

If any or all of these are true for your child, they may have what is sometimes known as “sore loser syndrome.”There are steps you can take to prevent your child from being overwhelmed by losing, as well as ways to help them if they do react strongly to the pressure to win.

Start early – As parents, we all let our children win at family games every now and then. But don’t do it every time! It’s okay for your child to lose at Go Fish occasionally. Learning to lose and manage the feelings that come with it will help your child deal with the inevitable losses they will experience throughout their childhood and their lives. You might say something like, “We’re a learning family. We all learn new things. Sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose. We take turns winning and losing. Today, it was your brother’s turn to win. Maybe it will be your turn to win tomorrow.”

Affirm feelings – “In life, winning and losing will both happen. What is never acceptable is quitting.” — Magic Johnson, basketball player

Don’t brush aside your child’s feelings of disappointment or sadness with expressions like “It’s just a game.”

Let them know that how they feel is okay: “You tried hard to hit the ball. It can be frustrating when you try hard and can’t make it work the way you want to.” Focus on what they are learning, and help them notice and acknowledge their improvement.

Give your child support for dealing effectively with feelings: “You drew a picture about feeling sad about not winning today’s game. That is a wonderful way to express your feelings.”

Learning from loss – Sometimes losing can create learning moments for kids. Use the powerful word “yet.” You haven’t won “yet.” Is there something your child could do differently next time? Does the skill need more practice? Did your child try to rush through the game without listening to the instructions? With your child, come up with solutions to help the game go more smoothly.

Emphasize the positive – Let your child know that we all have different skills for different things: “You didn’t hit the ball this game, but you swung at the ball! One thing you did do well was catch the ball twice when you were in the field. You really know how to catch the ball.”Make sure to let your child know you recognize small successes, especially with young children: “You made it to the top of the play structure. Way to go!” “You knew exactly which card to ask for” (when playing Go Fish).

Reframe winning and losing – “It’s not about winning or losing a competition, it’s about beating the doubt from within yourself and knowing at the end of each day you are one step closer to your goals.” — Jonathon Horton, gymnast

Instead of talking about “winning” and “losing” in black and white terms, try focusing on the process. Use words like:

Opportunity
Growth
Learning
Effort
Working Hard
Enjoyment
Fun

If your child is hesitant to participate because they can’t “win” or “be the best,” encourage them to participate in activities they really enjoy.

Give them support for working hard or being willing to participate, even if they are not “the best.”

Emphasize enjoyment: “You sure laughed a lot when we were playing cards.”

Emphasize effort: “I can see how hard you were trying to hit that ball. You were really watching carefully.”

How do you manage your feelings? – How do you deal with loss and disappointment? If you realize you are having a hard time dealing with loss, take the opportunity to make some changes. Not only will you benefit, but your child will also benefit from seeing effective ways to deal with losing. When your child sees you coping with hard feelings, they learn how to cope with their feelings.Walk your child through your process when you are trying something new. When you make a mistake, let them see you deal with it and try again. Learn to do something new together. Let them see you struggle with a new skill or game, and lose gracefully.

At the end of a day, it’s just a game

“Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.” — Michael Jordan, basketball player

Start practicing with your child early and they’ll see that losing can be disappointing, but no one wins all the time and that’s OK! If your child is starting to have “sore loser syndrome,” affirm their feelings of disappointment when losing, but also provide them with perspective. Remind them they haven’t won “yet”, they can improve, no one can be the best at everything, and sometimes having fun makes participating worthwhile. And, remember to check in with yourself about how you react to winning and losing too!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Creating a Successful Summer Chore Plan

Posted on July 16, 2019 - 11:36 pm by Early Childhood Hub

With the kids home for summer and lots of housework that needs tending to, you may be wondering what chores you can give to your older children. Studies have shown that there are benefits to children having chores, including learning mastery of a task and feeling a sense of accomplishment. Having your child wash windows every Monday not only frees you up to get something checked off your to-do list but also teaches your child a skill that they can carry with them through adulthood. This week, we offer tips for creating a successful summer chore plan.

Getting started

Start chore responsibility off on the right foot by holding a family meeting to make a plan.

Explain to your child why you are having the meeting and why helping out around the house is important. For example: “Living in a family involves a lot of work. It takes all of us working together to take care of ourselves and our home. It is everyone’s responsibility to help the family run smoothly, so we want to give you some choices about what you can do to make all of our summers fun.”

Make a list of chores that need to be done: making beds; taking out the garbage; watering the garden; feeding the dog.

Ask for your child’s input: Give your child a chance to say which tasks they would like to do. Ask your child to choose jobs they can manage alone, but be mindful of your child’s age and abilities.

Create a final jobs list and categorize by family member, and whether each chore is daily, weekly, or monthly. Make sure it is clear on the chart that you are contributing to the family too.

Your child might benefit from a visual checklist that shows them what chores they need to do on certain days of the week. Many elementary school children like to help make their checklist. Your child could help draw the lines, read items from your draft list, or write down chore items themselves.

Before talking with your child about their new jobs, decide whether you plan on using rewards or consequences as an incentive. Each child is unique and you know your child best. As a family, decide whether, for example, your child can “earn TV time at the end of the week” for completing chores.

As with all chores, the key to your child’s success is showing your child how to do the task and doing it with them until they are comfortable. At first, your child may need help getting started with their chore, especially if it is a new one. Ask them what would help them remember to do their job. One idea is to do it at the same time every day. Another is to pair it with something else the child likes to do. For example, maybe they would find it fun to listen to their favorite songs while washing the dishes or folding laundry.

Ask if they would like a reminder from you if you notice they haven’t done it by a certain time. If they don’t do their task, are there natural consequences you can live with and are the consequences applied to each family member? Do you have a “work before play policy” in your household? If so, make that clear in your discussion.

When you notice a chore has been done, get into the habit of saying thank you. Add an impact statement, telling them specifically how it makes the family run more smoothly. Tell them how them doing jobs around the house or yard makes it more pleasurable to walk up to the front door or hang out in the living room.

At the end of the first week, talk with your child about how chores are going. Ask for their opinion, then offer your own thanks. Keep your conversations positive and offer lots of praise when possible.

Yard card and safety

While some chores, such as feeding pets or putting laundry away, are appropriate for children over 7, there are certain chores that need to wait. Many parents are eager to get their kids on lawn mowing. duty, but the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has some guidelines regarding this common household chore—and for good reason. According to the AAP, in the U.S., more than 9,000 children go to the emergency room for lawn mower-related injuries every year. To use a push mower, children need to be 14 and over. In addition:

Kids must be both strong and mature enough to remain focused on the task

Be trained in how to safely operate a mower

Wear eye protection and closed-toe shoes

The AAP also recommends that parents supervise their child’s work until they are comfortable that their children can mow alone. And, lawn mowers, weed eaters, chip-shredders, and other sharp-edged yard tools should not be used by anyone under 14.While lawn mowing may be out of the question for a few years (or not!), there are lots of other yard work chores your child can help with:

Teach your child how to maintain a garden, including planting seeds, watering, and pruning.

Have your child be in charge of the watering schedule.

Show your child what plants are “weeds” and what needs to be removed.

Rake up any tree debris.

Shovel dirt or mulch into garden or flower beds.

Harvest fruits and veggies from the garden.

Create a compost bin and manage it.

Teaching life skills

Accomplishing chores makes kids feel proud of their competence in taking care of their possessions and living space, which also makes them feel good about themselves and builds confidence. Teaching your child to care for their living space from an early age will set them up for success later in life.