parenting-help – Page 3 – United Way of Lane County Testing

The Power of Positive Attention

Posted on August 26, 2021 - 9:55 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Everyone at every age can thrive on positive attention! It feels good when someone focuses his or her full attention – in a good way – on you. Children, especially, need that attention in order to grow emotionally, develop their self-esteem, confidence, and a positive sense of identity.But as parents, we get busy and forget to pay attention and give praise when our child does something we like or are proud of. When children feel ignored, or their attempts to get your attention fail, it can sometimes lead to challenging behavior, such as coloring on the walls or throwing toys. This is sometimes known as seeking negative attention.If you’re spending more time pointing out or correcting misbehaviors, it might be time to focus your efforts on using “positive attention,” focusing on “catching them being good.”

Why use positive attention?

Parental attention is a powerful tool. When you give your child positive attention, you are building their self-esteem and confidence, as well as trust and a closer bond with you.On the flip side, if you mostly pay attention to your child when they are displaying challenging or negative behaviors they will learn that if they want your attention they should chase the cat around the house or hide your car keys.“Positive attention,” notes the Child Mind Institute, “requires a lens shift in which we call out kids for good behavior and ignore (at least in the moment) the not-so-good.”

Positive attention in action

Positive attention simply means “catching your child in the act” of doing something positive, whether it’s a behavior or a task. This could include: cleaning up their toys, sharing nicely with their sibling, saying “thank you,” waiting patiently in line, feeding the dog, picking out their clothes for school, etc.There are many ways to give positive attention to your child, including:

smiling

hugging

nodding

eye contact

showing interest in your child’s interests and accomplishments

giving specific praise, especially praise of their effort

With positive attention you can give praise for any behavior you want to see repeated. Specific phrases that note exactly what your child is being praised for are much more powerful than general phrases like “good job”. For example: “Thank you for petting the kitty so gently. Your nice touches made the kitty feel calm and happy.” Describe what you see them doing or saying. When you point out the impact of their positive behavior, the praise becomes more powerful. Your ultimate goal will be to support your child to behave well even when you are not there to see it. To achieve this, you can help them notice when they are proud of themselves, by asking about their feelings. “How does it feel when the kitty purrs when you pet her?” This will go a long way in building your child’s self esteem.Other points to consider:

Did he put away most of his toys?
- Notice that some toys got put away, rather than what did NOT get done. “Thank you for putting those toys away. It helps Daddy when you clean up after you play.”
- Lend a hand to finish the job. Doing a chore together is giving your child attention and support.
- You don’t need to wait until a task is complete or “perfect” before you offer praise. Praise can be offered when your child starts a task or makes an effort. Praising the effort rather than the outcome is a powerful way to increase their effort and shows that you are noticing what they are doing.

To build confidence and independence, give praise when your child takes care of themselves while you are doing what you need to, such as getting their own drink of water, or picking out their clothes for the day while you make breakfast. Little ones want to be “big” more than anything. “Look at how grown up you are, getting your own drink of water! How do you feel when you can do things for yourself?”

Pay attention to your attention

Positive attention can also come in the form of intentional time spent together, such as playing your child’s favorite game, reading books together, going on a post-dinner walk in the neighborhood, or baking together. Follow your child’s lead by asking them to choose the activity and then doing it the way they want to do it. Even 20 minutes of focused fun together invests in your relationship, and goes a long way to build a solid foundation to rely on when times or situations are more difficult.At the end of the day, your child just wants to feel loved and valued. It takes effort to incorporate positive attention into your day. But once you make it a habit to point out when your child is being helpful or making positive choices, dishing out positive attention will become second nature to you.

This article is brought to you by Parenting Now Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz, and consultant Jay Thompson. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now, please visit their website or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Triple P page.

Team Parenting After a Separation

Posted on August 19, 2021 - 9:24 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Team parenting is about having a shared approach to parenting, even when the parents don’t live together. It includes having similar approaches to everything from bedtime to how to handle discipline, and supporting one another in those choices. Team parenting can make the daily challenges of parenting so much easier, by helping your child understand consistent routines and boundaries, wherever they might be.Some families find being on the same page when it comes to parenting styles and choices can be challenging, especially for those who are divorced or separated. Though it might take a bit of effort from both parents, it is possible to work as a team to be strong, supportive, consistent parents for your child.And it all starts with communication.

Effective communication is key to team parenting

When you parent as a team, you are modeling healthy relationships, and supporting your child’s emotional well-being. After all, you both have the common goal of raising your child to be healthy, happy and successful. Keep this common goal foremost in your mind anytime you discuss parenting with each other.As parents, being able to communicate openly, without judgement or criticism, can help with problem-solving and managing challenges. Here are some communication points to keep in mind:

Understand each other’s basic ideas or values about parenting. Talk about it or take a parenting class together. You may have some different ideas or values, but the key is in finding common ground, and making your children’s lives consistent.

Know and respect each other’s specific family and cultural history. What traditions do you want to keep in your household? What would you like to add or change? Supporting each other’s choices and practices models respect for your children’s heritage and sense of belonging.

Come to a decision on “daily” issues or rules, such as bedtime, meals, or screen time. If you disagree, find a middle ground. If it is impossible for these daily activities to look the same across both households, try to have similar expectations.

Avoid criticizing or complaining about the other parent to your children or within earshot of them. Be constructive, provide feedback, and keep your adult discussions private.

We all make mistakes. Offer each other some grace. Let your children see your sincere apology when needed.

Appreciate each other’s viewpoints and needs. Be flexible and see where you both can compromise.

When it comes to discussions about your child, put aside your own feelings of anger, hurt, or resentment toward your former partner—put your child’s well-being first.

Even with lots of communication and shared agreements, there are bound to be arguments and struggles. When possible, discuss parenting issues, especially major ones, when you are both calm. It’s important for children to see that their parents are united and working as a team. Stability and consistency make children feel safe and confident. This could include:

Aim for a consistent daily schedule in both households.

Follow similar systems of consequences for broken rules.

Strive to maintain similar rules in each household.

Child-centered decision making

At the end of the day, it comes down to child-centered decision-making. Communicate what your values and ideas are about parenting. Support each other by agreeing on general rules, guidelines and discipline. Compromise and be flexible about places you don’t agree. Your child will benefit if she or he sees your family as a team working together.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Survival Tips for Summer Parenting

Posted on August 7, 2021 - 12:01 am by Early Childhood Hub

Summer is a busy time for parents. There’s swimming, camps, sleepovers, picnics, playgrounds—not to mention the everyday chores like laundry that need tending to. It can be hard to manage it all in one day!So what can parents do to juggle the demands of parenting, while still finding balance in their day and keeping their sanity? Trying to be all and do all is an impossible task. Setting realistic priorities and expectations will allow you to approach your day with more focus and confidence and allow you to be your best for your family. Below are more tips for juggling the demands of parenting, especially during the summer months.

Plan and organize

One of the first steps in managing all this summer fun is to get that information out of your head and onto paper. Decide what type of calendar will best keep you organized-would you prefer to use a digital or printed calendar? You and your child could even craft a calendar together that uses basic icons to show your activities for the week, such as “waves” for swimming, a “book” for the library, “slide” for the playground!Over the weekend, jot down the activities you have planned for the upcoming week, such as swim lessons, dinner at Grandma’s, blueberry picking, etc. Then, with your children, pick a few additional activities you want to do during the week. Examples could be: visit the library, go to the park, swim in a lake. How many additional activities you want to squeeze into your day/week is up to you. Planning ahead will keep you from overextending yourself. Remember, simple routines can simplify life. Be sure to leave time for resting and the lazy days that allow you and your children to recharge and your children to learn to occupy themselves.Having a plan for the week can also help your kids know what to expect. Routines and schedules have the advantage of creating structure and helping kids feel safe as they navigate their daily lives.

Prep ahead of time

Look for other places in your life that could benefit from some prepping ahead of time. For example, if you know you’ll be at the pool several days of the week, have a designated swim bag—preloaded with towels, extra clothes, pool toys, goggles, sunscreen, snacks, water bottles—at the ready. Keep it by the front door.Other ideas include:

Meal plan: Before you head to the grocery store, pick the dinner meals you want to prepare Monday through Friday. Make a list of the ingredients you need.

Prepare crockpot meals in the morning, so they will be ready to go for dinner.

Some grocery stores have the option of purchasing groceries online, then either picking them up or having them delivered to your home. It’s a great time-saver and can be used in conjunction with your meal planning.

For kids in summer camps, pack lunches the night before and get their clothes ready for the next day.

Shower at night to ease your morning routine.

Secure time for self-care

Self-care for parents is important year-round, but can be especially important during times of stress or when you feel otherwise overwhelmed or burnt out. As parents, we do a lot for our kids and it can be easy to overlook our own needs. This summer, make room in your routine to care for your health and do something you enjoy!This could include:

Read a chapter in a book once per day or once per week.

Eat healthy, seasonal fruits and veggies.

Take a walk through your neighborhood or on a local trail.

Spend a few moments alone taking deep breaths—in the sunshine!

If your own needs as an adult are being met, it is much easier to be patient with your child and be available to them when they want to tell you about their soccer lesson or show you a “cool trick” they learned. It is also easier to stay calm during the hard moments.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Exercising Your Child’s Creativity Muscle

Posted on July 19, 2021 - 11:48 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Kids are naturally creative, and your unique child is going to express their creativity in their own special way. Some kids express themselves through singing; others like to smear paint all over a canvas; and some kids like to make patterns out of items found in nature. Point is, it’s ALL good and it’s ALL creative. Sometimes parents wonder whether they are doing enough to expose their kids to “the arts.” But you don’t need trips to Broadway or The Met to spark your child’s imagination. Truth is, creativity takes many forms and can be nourished at home using simple materials and encouragement from you!

Creativity in the home and community

Curiosity can lead to creativity. What will happen if I mix these two colors of paint together? To spark creativity, encourage your child to experiment with a variety of materials. What sound does rice make in a bottle? Is it different or the same as the sound beans make? Remember, the process is more important than the product when it comes to creative pursuits. The joy is in creating!

Have crayons, paints, clay, blocks and other supplies to make pictures, collages, buildings. Dig into the recycling bin and get out the paper, scissors, string and glue and let them have at it!

Use pots and wooden spoons for percussion instruments or have your child try out a guitar or recorder if you have one (supervised).

Go to the park and point out the different shapes of leaves, different colored flowers, patterns on the bark of a tree. Have your child make patterns with pebbles.

Walk around your neighborhood and notice the different colors of houses. Notice the shapes of street signs. Look for neighborhood murals or even graffiti.

Check out the Eugene Public Library or Springfield Public Library for music and story times, as well as special events like comic book building. The LaneKids event calendar is also filled with activities for families, including scavenger hunts, music times, StoryWalks at Alton Baker Park, puppet shows, and more!

The community is filled with outdoor sculpture, fountains, murals, festivals and other creative opportunities.

Be supportive and encouraging

Children love to share their creations. You can be a good audience by being attentive when they ask to show you their drawing. Take pictures of their creations, and share with grandparents or friends. In addition you can:

Encourage your child to try out different things – are they most interested in music, drama, painting, or writing (for older children)?

Remind yourself that children’s interest can change quickly and easily-don’t let it get to you. When you follow their interest, you are letting them know that what they make or do is important, they have good ideas, and they are important.

Encourage your child to share, but don’t force them to perform, especially in front of others they may not know well or when they are feeling shy.

Find activities that encourage pride in your cultural or ethnic, racial, or religious identities.

Introduce your child to artwork, dance, music, and more that comes from diverse communities, while being respectful of the meaning of these activities to the particular culture.

Proudly display your child’s art: hang up artwork; take photos of dance performances; record their music. Some families have a special frame in a place of prominence where they display and rotate their child’s artwork periodically. Not only will they see how proud you are of their efforts, but you will also be creating wonderful memories for the future for you and for them.

Children can and do learn from creative arts. It needn’t be fancy or formal, but it can easily be part of every day whether it’s a collage made from sticks from the park, a formal tot ballet class, or singing in the bathtub. Encourage your child to find what sparks their interest and gives them enjoyment now and they will enjoy a creative mind throughout their lives.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

STEAM in the Kitchen

Posted on June 25, 2021 - 5:50 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Cooking and baking alongside your toddler and young child results in so much more than just a tasty meal or snack! When we cook with our child, we provide opportunities for learning science, technology, engineering, art, and math (STEAM). STEAM is a way of looking at learning that explores many subjects within the same activity—and your kitchen is the perfect place to explore these ideas and have fun doing so! Cooking, by nature, is all about scientific reactions—the way cornstarch thickens soup, or yeast helps bread dough rise. But it can also be about making food art, or engineering the tallest sandwich tower! When you do a cooking project, ask your child to guess what they think might happen. Then observe how it turned out. Becoming a master of anything begins with curiosity, and cooking is all about experimenting with flavors, textures and colors. Measuring, pouring, stirring and watching food grow and change are all about math and science, but also spark creativity and artistry. And don’t we want learning to be fun?Here are some ideas for teaching STEAM using food:

Watermelon Volcano Experiment:

Just in time for summer, turn a watermelon rind into an exploding volcano (after you save the red, ripe delicious insides for a snack, of course)! Supplies:

Small watermelon

Baking soda

Vinegar

Dish soap

Steps: Carve your watermelon like you would a pumpkin, cutting a small hole in the top (just big enough so that you can get your hand into it. Then, scoop out the watermelon insides so the watermelon is hollow—save your watermelon for snacks later! Then, pour ½ cup baking soda into the watermelon, followed by a few drops of dish soap. The fun really begins when you pour in the vinegar and your watermelon volcano “explodes”!

Ice Cream In A Bag:

Making your own ice cream is a great way to get the whole family moving and shaking—and cool off during hot summer days. Supplies:

1 tablespoon sugar

½ cup Half & Half

¼ teaspoon Vanilla Extract

½ cup table salt

4 cups of ice cubes

Small, sealable sandwich bags

Gallon-sized freezer bags

Oven mitts

Steps: In a small sealable bag, add 1 tablespoon of sugar, ½ cup of Half & Half, and ¼ teaspoon Vanilla Extract. Set aside.In a gallon size sealable bag, add 4 cups of ice cubes and ½ cup of salt. While still sealed shut, place your small bag of sugar and milk into the large bag of salt and ice. Seal the bag.Wearing oven mitts, shake the bags for 5 minutes. Then, the ice cream is ready to eat!

Fruit Rainbow:

Fruits and vegetables are full of beautiful colors—and taste good too! Have a fun, and yummy time with your kiddos making a fruit rainbow. Supplies:

Strawberries (Red)

Oranges or golden raspberries (Orange)

Pineapple (Yellow)

Green grapes (Green)

Blueberries (Blue)

Purple grapes (Indigo and Violet)

Plain yogurt

Prepare your fruit by washing it and cutting the strawberries, oranges, pineapple, and grapes into ¼ size bites. Assemble your rainbow by following the sequencing of rainbow colors “ROYGBIV”: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. At the ends of your rainbow, add a few dollops of plain yogurt for clouds. Enjoy!

Fun in the kitchen

“Some people like to paint pictures, or do gardening, or build a boat in the basement. Other people get a tremendous pleasure out of the kitchen, because cooking is just as creative and imaginative an activity as drawing, or wood carving, or music.” — Julia Child

There are so many ways to look at cooking through a STEAM lens. And whether your child is a toddler or a tween, there are lots of age-appropriate activities for using STEAM in the kitchen. Enjoying time doing a STEAM learning activity with your child builds lifelong memories and sparks their passion for learning through fun and creativity.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Backyard Pool Safety

Posted on June 14, 2021 - 10:51 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Summer weather is upon us and parents and kids alike are chomping at the bit to get out the goggles and cannonball into the swimming pool. But with COVID-19 restrictions still in place, more families are opting for a backyard, above ground swimming pool or wading pool.Swimming and water play bring endless joy to kids and is a great source of exercise. However, when you have a body of water in your backyard, even if it’s only 1 foot deep, you need to be extra mindful of your children when they are swimming or playing near the pool. Here are some tips for keeping your kids safe this summer around the water.

Wise to Water Safety

First, the scary part: According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), drowning is the second leading cause of death in children ages 1-4. Even just 1 inch of water is enough to drown an infant or toddler. Now, the good news: With precautions in place and your eagle eye while on lifeguard duty, you and your kiddos can have a splashing good time this summer.

Precautions

If you have a backyard pool or wading pool, there are some precautions you may want to consider before diving in:

Set some rules: Talk to your children about the “rules of the pool,” such as “no one in the pool unless a parent is outside with you,” “no climbing on the ladder,” “a grownup must always be present when you play in the backyard,” “never swim alone,” and “no horseplay.”

Designate a “Water Watcher.” When family and friends are over for a summer BBQ, it’s easy to assume that someone—Grandpa? Mom? Aunt Maggie?—has their eyes on the children. However, more adults present doesn’t always equal better supervision. Designate a person to stay with the kids while they play in or near the water. Rotate out the job, just like lifeguards do.

Install fencing around your pool so the kids can’t climb in when you are not with them. The AAP recommends that backyard swimming pools, (including large, inflatable above-ground pools), be surrounded with a fence at least 54 inches high with a self-closing latch.

Motion sensors and alarms are also available for purchase that alert you to when a child has jumped or fallen in the pool. Even motion sensor lights provide some protection at night.

Before your child gets in the pool, bring everything you will need with you including a towel, change of clothes, snacks, water, and sunscreen. In the seconds it takes to run inside and grab a towel, drowning can happen.

Be honest with your kids about the dangers of swimming pools. Talk about it and work through how your children can be safe in and around the pool.

In the Pool

One of the most important rules of water safety is constant, vigilant supervision. If you have a backyard swimming pool, you will need to be near your kids while they swim—that means eyes up, book and phone down. The AAP recommends using “touch supervision” while kids are in the water, meaning that you stay within arms reach of your young child or non-swimmer when they are in or around water.Water wings or floating toys do not prevent your child from drowning, and even may make them more daring by providing a false sense of security. A proper flotation could include the use of personal flotation devices or lifejackets while in the pool.According to the USA Swimming Foundation, one month of formal swimming lessons reduces the risk of drowning in children by 88%. If possible, sign your child up for swim lessons to learn the basics of swimming, including rolling from front to back and floating. In addition, consider getting your CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) certification. American Red Cross, Oregon CPR, Lane County CPR, and CPR & First Aid Training Center offer classes regularly in adult and pediatric CPR and First Aid. Contact your preferred center to schedule a class.Here’s to a safe and splashing good summer!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Waking in the Night and Ways To Prevent It

Posted on June 3, 2021 - 11:54 pm by Early Childhood Hub

As an exhausted parent of an infant, you may have dreamed of the day that you would finally get a full night’s sleep again—only to find that your toddler is still waking up in the middle of the night! Parenting is about learning along the way and adjusting expectations for your particular child and their developmental stage.You’re not alone. One in three children under the age of 5 has sleep and bedtime challenges, including waking up in the middle of the night.While there are a number of factors that can cause night wakings, there are also a number of things you can do to help your toddler gently fall—and stay—in a deep slumber.

What’s going on with your toddler?

While most sleep patterns are established in infancy, even the best sleepers can go through sleep challenges during toddlerhood. Here are some common reasons:

Changes to sleep schedules: According to kidshealth.org, between the ages 1 and 2, most toddlers need about 11-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Somewhere between the ages of 1 and 2, your child will transition from 2 naps to 1 nap and this can have an affect on their sleep at night. Some parents find having them nap earlier in the day can help them be more ready for bed at night.

Teething: Toddlers might wake in the night because of teething pain. Molars start coming in anytime between 13 and 19 months of age. Molars are large and have double edges—ouch! Other signs that indicate your toddler’s wakefulness is from teething are excess drool, chewing, biting, and crankiness.

Bad Dreams: At this age, dreams and nightmares start popping up and it’s hard for toddlers to tell the difference between reality and a bad dream. You can talk about dreams being “pictures in your mind” and provide needed comfort. Anxiety can come from multiple sources, and gets worked through in dreams, so you might think about what is going on for them to try to mitigate and help them work through the emotions while awake.

Separation anxiety: Your child wants to be with you and if they fall asleep with you by their side, they will want you there to help them fall back asleep. While they are developmentally working on their independence, they still have a need for your comfort, and to know you are there for them when they are having a hard time. You might try playing “hide and seek” during the day with them, so they can experience you always being there, even though they don’t see you for a while.

New milestones: During the toddler years, your child is meeting many new milestones. A disruption in sleep might indicate that your toddler is on the verge of mastering a new skill, such as jumping, throwing a ball, speaking in sentences. Sleep is essential to complete their learning of these new skills, and they may wake themselves up when they move around in their dreams.

Ways you can help

Keep your house quiet at night. Some toddlers are sensitive to TV noise or loud talking, and it can be distracting to their sleep. Although some toddlers respond to soft music or white noise, just like when they were infants, keep noise to a minimum and of the droning variety. Avoid giving your toddler a screen or tablet or putting a tv in their room.

Limit sugary food or drinks after dinner.

For nightmares: Limit screen time before bed and monitor what your child watches. If your child does see a disturbing image, talk it through with them and validate their feelings. Assure them you will keep them safe.

For separation anxiety: Snuggle on the couch with your pet if you have one, and if not, with a favorite stuffie. Investing in this close connection time will help build their tolerance for being alone in their bed.

Avoid pushing back bedtime: While it can be tempting to put them to sleep later, the more overtired your toddler is, the harder time they will have falling and staying asleep. We have all experienced “overtired” toddlers and that’s hard on everyone!

To make bedtime more appealing, let your toddler pick out their jammies, a stuffy to take to bed, 3 books to read with you either before or after they are in their bed.

Get into a routine

Toddlers thrive on routine and knowing what to expect next. Set an established bedtime that will fit into your family’s schedule. Create a bedtime routine for your toddler to follow. Consistency is key. Do the same things in the same order every evening. For example:

Use the toilet

Brush teeth

Say goodnight to the family (pets, too!)

Read books

Go to bed at a set time

Stay in bed until morning

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Teaching Your Child to Become Resilient

Posted on May 20, 2021 - 12:48 am by Early Childhood Hub

Changes and challenges – big and small – are part of life, and all children will face them at some point. While we can’t protect our children from every hurdle or disappointment they face, teaching resiliency skills to our children can help them bounce back from life’s setbacks. In addition, resiliency also has other benefits, including building confidence and the willingness to try new things.What does it mean to be “resilient”?Being resilient is the ability to quickly recover from setbacks, and adapt to change.It’s the ability to keep working at something, even when it’s not easy. For children, they may face big challenges such as starting a new school, bullying, or moving to a new town. They may also face every day challenges like being corrected by a teacher, not being chosen for a team, or falling off their bike.As a parent, you can help your child learn the skills they need to build their resilience through everyday parenting tips.

Let your child be a problem-solver and find solutions to simple problems, such as finding their shoes or getting a cup of water. Children need to learn critical thinking skills and then practice their problem solving. The starting point can be everyday play. Here, they are surrounded with chances to problem solve, whether they’re playing an imaginary game with their toys, building with blocks, or coloring. Giving your child choices is a first step, even for toddlers.

Allow for appropriate risk or age-appropriate freedoms. Life is full of risk—some serious, some mundane. We make decisions every day that involve some level of risk (“Do I buy broccoli instead of peas this week and risk that my child will spit it out in protest?”). With our children, it’s the same. Not every “risk” is obvious. Learning to ride a skateboard or climbing a tree both involve obvious, physical risk. It’s more about taking a step back to evaluate where you can give your child opportunities to challenge themselves. Maybe it’s urging them to climb up one higher branch on a tree (or climb it at all), or allowing them to get a skateboard for their birthday (Don’t forget knee/elbow pads and a helmet!)

Allow your child to make mistakes. Think of mistakes as learning opportunities for your child. Being there for them when they get a failing grade even though they refused to study for a test or allowing them to feel disappointment when they don’t make the softball team—these are opportunities to talk about consequences, and what they could do differently next time. Avoid being judgmental (I told you so). Instead, help your child see that the outcome might have been different if they put in more effort.

Encourage your child to keep trying. If the situation is beyond their skill level, build in any support they might need. A math tutor or even an older child can help them learn the skills needed to be successful or inspire them to keep going. You can share the superpower of the word “yet.” You aren’t hitting the ball “yet,” or you don’t know the words to the song “yet.” “Yet” implies they will be successful at some point, and it sometimes takes the willingness to keep on trying to make that happen.

Talk about emotions openly. Part of being human is feeling a wide range of emotions, from happiness and anger, to sadness and disappointment. Encourage your child to talk about their emotions and allow them to feel what they need to feel in the moment. Life seems unfair sometimes. Validate their difficult feelings and help them frame the situation in terms of what they learned.

Model being resilient for your child. As your child’s primary “life” teacher, use your own mistakes or challenges to show that it’s possible to bounce back from setbacks and overcome challenges. For example, “I also feel disappointed that we can’t visit Grandma this weekend. And we can call her on Saturday and talk about all the fun things we will do when we can all be together again.”

Supporting your child’s coping skillsIt’s natural to want to keep your children safe and to protect their feelings. But you can’t shield them from every hurt and disappointment. What you can do though, is help them learn to cope and build their resiliency skills. Bouncing back from life’s disappointments, big or small, is a life skill you can help your child learn.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Positive Parenting Today for a Brighter Tomorrow

Posted on April 28, 2021 - 1:11 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parenting is important work—but it isn’t always easy. Even though it can be the most rewarding work we do, often it can feel exhausting and demanding. Parents have the important responsibility of raising the next generation. As we walk into this role hopeful and excited, many of us may feel unprepared, learning through trial and error as we go.

We all strive to raise healthy children in a loving, nurturing environment, and Triple P—Positive Parenting Program—supports parents by helping them work through the day-to-day challenges all parents face.

The Triple P approach starts by acknowledging that there is no right or perfect way to parent. It’s up to each of us to decide what values and skills we would like our children to have and how we will teach them. Every family has their own traditions, values, customs, and habits. There isn’t one “right way” to raise your child. You get to decide the values, skills, and actions you want to encourage and discourage and what approaches you want to take.

But while no two families are exactly the same, all families can use some practical tips about what we know through research to be helpful in raising children.

What is positive parenting?

Positive parenting is an approach to parenting that aims to build good relationships with children. It provides strategies for parents to give children encouragement and attention and learn good communication skills. Children who grow up with positive parenting are likely to develop the skills they need in life, feel good about themselves, and contribute to their community. Positive parenting has 5 main cornerstones:

Provide a safe, interesting home environment

Ensure that your home is childproofed so your infant and toddler can safely explore and play. Remember, children develop skills through curiosity and exploration.

Have engaging activities at the ready, such as drawing, painting, and imaginative play items. Interesting things to see, hear, touch and manipulate feed their physical, social and emotional growth.

Keep dangerous or breakable items out of reach from children.

Keep children out of areas that are not safe.

Create a positive learning environment

Be available to your child when they need your attention.

Follow your child’s lead. They will show you new and creative ways to play.

Notice and remark on behavior you want to encourage.

Manage misbehavior in a positive, healthy way

Be consistent in your approach to challenging behavior.

Stay calm, avoid yelling, threats, or name calling.

Say what you want, rather than what you don’t want

When you treat your child with respect, you are teaching them to treat others with respect

Encourage your child to be proud of their own positive behavior to develop their self-regulation

Set realistic expectations for yourself and your child

Keep in mind your child’s developmental age, temperament, learning style, and skills—all children learn and develop at their own pace.

No child will act perfectly all the time. Just like adults, they can have challenging days.

Know that every parent makes mistakes, and we can learn from them.

Make time for yourself as a parent

Parenting is easier and more pleasant when your own needs are met.

Being a good parent does not mean sacrificing what makes you YOU—make time for hobbies, friends, your spouse, or just some quiet time with coffee and a book.

It’s never too late or too soon to employ positive parenting techniques

Think about actions, attitudes or skills you would like to grow in yourself and in your child. For example: your child’s refusals at bedtime, or how you respond to stressful moments. Choose one or two things to work on and set some goals. Keep your goals simple and realistic so you can be successful. Get support. Clear goals help you focus on what you want to change, and help you work towards making those changes. And remember to celebrate when you have succeeded!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Why Kids Steal — and Ways to Prevent It

Posted on April 21, 2021 - 10:06 pm by Early Childhood Hub

It could be as insignificant as a cookie off the counter, or a little more troublesome such as a toy from a friend’s house—either way, many children will experiment with stealing at some point in time. While young children do not always understand what stealing is, or know the difference between borrowing something and taking it without permission, by the time children are in elementary school they are capable of understanding the idea of ownership and what’s right and wrong. With support and guidance, most children do not develop a persistent pattern of stealing. Knowing why kids steal and ways to talk about it with your child is a good first step in tackling the issue.

Understanding their “why”

There are several reasons why a child might steal. These include:

Some children lack self-control. They see something they want, and they want it now! This is especially true of preschoolers. They are still learning the important life skills of self-regulation and self-control.

Some children steal to “fit in” or be like their friends.

Stealing might be a way to get attention from peers.

The excitement of getting away with the crime.

Some children get jealous of something their friend or sibling has.

Discourage stealing habits from an early age

You can prevent stealing habits by teaching empathy at an early age. Empathy is the ability to understand or feel what another person is experiencing. Stealing, whether from a person, someone’s home, or a store, is not a victimless crime. You could say: “Taking money from my wallet without permission is stealing. I feel _________ (disappointed, angry, sad) when you take things without asking.”You can also use the opportunity to turn the tables by asking: “How would you feel if your friend took something that belonged to you? Let’s talk about why it’s not OK for someone to take something from you without your permission.”As your child grows, reinforce these lessons whenever the opportunity presents itself, such as siblings taking toys from each other, or your child taking the cookie off your plate when you didn’t say she could have it: “Remember, that you need to ask before taking something that isn’t yours. This cookie is mine, you already ate yours, and it hurt my feelings when you tried to take mine without asking. How would you feel if I took your cookie without asking?”

How to handle stealing when it happens

If your child is caught stealing something, stay calm and discuss the problem with your child after everyone has had a moment to settle their emotions. Calmly state, “I know this toy doesn’t belong to you.” If you have an experience from your childhood, you could share it with your child. “When I was your age, I stole a candy bar from the corner store. I felt really scared and guilty about it. I had to apologize to the store owner and return the candy bar.”Explain that stealing is wrong, and we want to do the right thing. Then, with your child, make a plan to apologize and return the stolen item, or if it is something they ate or used, to replace it.You are teaching your child that when we make a mistake, we need to make amends. Think of it as “rupture and repair.” Just like when you break something, and you need to fix it or replace it, when we hurt another person by taking something that is theirs, we need to both apologize and return or replace the item.Then, when the time is right, see if you can find out the reason your child stole the item. Listen to their reasons and offer your own reasons why stealing isn’t justified (for example, stealing from a store owner hurts them because running a store costs money; or when you steal a toy from a friend they may lose trust in you and not want to be your friend. This is why it is important to tell that friend the truth and apologize to them.If your child is stealing because of the thrill of “getting away with it,” or because it seemed fun at the time, talk about other ways they can take risks in a safe way to get that same rush. Maybe they want to learn to ride a mountain bike or even do tricks on a skateboard. If they are younger, jumping on a trampoline or playing chase may do the trick. If they like the challenge of stealing, you could try other types of challenges like scavenger hunts or hide and seek.

Build back trust through quality time

If your child is caught stealing, you might worry that they will do it again. It can also bring up trust issues between you and your child. Sometimes stealing can be a cry for help or attention. Spending extra quality time with your child after school and on the weekends, can help build trust, honesty, and support for every member of the family.