Parenting Tips – Page 11 – United Way of Lane County Testing

Supporting Your Child’s Re-Entry To School

Posted on September 25, 2021 - 1:00 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent kneeling to hug a child goodbye outside a school entrance

After a fun-filled summer, Lane County children are going back to school in early September. For some, it’s their first time away from home. Whether your child is entering kindergarten for the first time or going into elementary school, children of all ages are likely to experience separation anxiety from their caregivers as they transition into a new routine. Children also may be anxious about meeting new friends, adjusting to a new teacher, and in general getting used to their new routine. Going from being home all summer to returning to or starting school takes lots of energy, physically and emotionally.

As a parent, although you are probably looking forward to a few hours without your children, you also might have your own separation anxiety. It will be an adjustment for you to have your children away from you during the day. But there are some beneficial things you can do to help smooth the transition for both of you.

Preventing Separation Anxiety

Prep your child ahead of time

Don’t wait until Monday morning to spring on your kindergartener that it’s a “school day!” Talk about it with your child ahead of time when the opportunity presents itself. A child’s anxiety can be reduced by knowing what to expect.

Have your child pick out their “school clothes for tomorrow”

Pick out after-school snacks with you at the grocery store

Remind your child that they need to “go to bed early because tomorrow is a school day”

Talk about what is coming up in the week: any special plans or activities?

If your child is a visual learner, consider having a calendar that shows which days are school days and which are no-school days. Use a magnet, sticker, or item of your child’s choice to move along the days of the week.

Keep mornings smooth and unrushed

Feeling rushed can kick anyone’s anxiety into high gear. But children especially can feel overwhelmed when we rush them out the door in the morning. When possible, try to keep your morning routines smooth and unrushed so your child can feel calm as they head off to school. Doing some of these things the night before can help mornings feel less chaotic:

Lay out your child’s clothes for the morning

Prep breakfast the night before, i.e. pour the cereal in the bowl and set it at the table

Put backpacks, jackets, and shoes by the door

Sign any papers that need to go back to the school and place them in your child’s backpack

Have a specific place to put things that need to go out the door in the morning

Pack your child’s lunchbox with just the dry goods, or put it in the refrigerator to be ready to grab in the morning

Keep school drop-off simple

It can be hard to leave your child at school when they are upset and clinging to you, but a loving, simple “hug and goodbye” allows your child, with the help of their teacher, to find what helps calm them. When it is time to leave, remind your child where you are going and when you will return. You are helping your child build resilience by giving them the opportunity to work through hard feelings and then come out okay. At the end of the day let them know how proud they can be of themselves for adjusting so well to being at their new school.

Try to link the time of your return with something your child will understand — “Lamar, I will pick you up from school after your class has finished story time.”

Spend quality time together

During the next few weeks as your child adjusts to being at school, he may need extra support and attention from you at home. Make time after school or when you return to home to check in with your child about their day; talk about what went well or what was fun at school; and find a special activity you can do together like read some books, make an after-school snack, go to the park. They may need some time to release some of their energy physically at the end of the day, so tossing the ball around or playing tag may be in order. By spending fun time together, you are reinforcing the bond you have together, building your positive relationship. A little one-on-one time with you will go a long way in helping your child feel safe and connected even when they are away from you at school.

This article is brought to you by Parenting Now Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz, and consultant Jay Thompson. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now, please visit their website or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Triple P page.

Bending The Truth: Why Kids Lie and How to Respond

Posted on September 13, 2021 - 11:50 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Children, of all ages, lie for a variety of reasons. In fact, it is so common that a study from the University of Waterloo found that 96 percent of young children lie at some point. Children are trying to figure out how to act in the world, the difference between real and pretend, and how to deal with conflict. Their developmental stage plays a role in how and why children lie, and being aware of this can help us, as adults, respond to lies in a calm, understanding way.ToddlersUntil about three years old, toddlers who lie are generally:

Engaged in fantasy play

denying misbehavior that they think will “magically” go away if they lie about doing it

Making an honest mistake about what’s happening

Are worried about upsetting or disappointing a parent

Are starting to realize you don’t know everything, and that gives them some wiggle room for the truth

Really don’t remember the whole story (selective recall)

Pre-SchoolPreschoolers know the difference between truths and lies, but wanting to please their caregivers sometimes trumps telling the truth.

Young children are figuring out the difference between real and pretend. Sometimes, we encourage “pretend” like when we talk about the tooth fairy. While encouraging imagination is important, your child may sometimes get confused about what is real and not.

They may want to make the story more exciting – their imagination is working overtime

They may wish they hadn’t done what they did, so they say they didn’t do it (impulse control)

Elementary and middle schoolAs kids get older, their understanding of lying gets clearer but the reasons behind lying become more complex. Older children are also capable of coming up with more advanced lies—and sound sincere when telling it. They may rehearse it in their head enough that they are starting to really believe it. They have more words and are starting to understand how others think.

Embarrassment or fear of mistakes
- Your child may not know how to handle making a mistake and lie to cover it up. They may fear getting in trouble or don’t want to disappoint you. Sometimes they feel worried about the lie itself and create more lies.

Avoidance
- Whether it’s chores or homework, sometimes children lie to avoid something they don’t want to do.

To be “Cool”
- For many kids, making friends and fitting in is challenging. They may lie to impress other kids or fit in.
- They may tell a “white lie” to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

For Attention
- Your child may want to seek attention with a lie or even want to see how you react. “We saw two lions in the park today” sounds more interesting that we walked by a cat on the way to the park. You might respond by saying something like, “That’s a great story! You have a good imagination.” This will encourage imagination without encouraging the lie.

Fear of Punishment
- Your child may lie if they worry the truth will bring a punishment. Children who are bullied or abused may lie for fear they will be treated worse if “they tell.”

How you can respond:

For toddlers and preschoolers, encourage imagination and help your child start to distinguish between real and pretend. For example, you and your child can pretend to be firefighters and then later go to your local fire station to meet a real firefighter.

Prompt them to tell the whole story.

Give your child positive feedback when they tell the truth. Give them opportunities to distinguish between real and not real.

Praise your child for owning up to the truth.

Create clear rules about lying and be consistent about keeping them.

Be a good role model! Be honest about your mistakes.

If your child is trying to fit in, find ways to raise their self-esteem. Help them come up with concrete things they can do about the situation.

Give unconditional love. Let your child know that even when they make mistakes, you still love them.

Emphasize the importance of honesty in your family.

There is a balance between feeling bad, guilty, or shameful about being caught in a lie and then moving to take responsibility to fix it. When a child tells an untruth for whatever reason, call attention to it in a matter-of-fact way and give the child the opportunity to tell the truth.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Grow Your Social Support Network to Reduce Isolation

Posted on September 3, 2021 - 6:09 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Along with all the joys and precious moments with your little one, parenting a new baby can be lonely work. Especially as a new parent – you are adapting to a lot! There are long days of seemingly endless feedings and diaper changes, rocking and swaying, swaddling and then re-swaddling—and, ironically, you are never really alone. The days seem long, and lack of sleep makes them seem even longer. You feel depleted and alone.If you have felt this way, you are not the only one. Many parents report feeling lonely, isolated, and unsupported during the first year of their baby’s life. A lack of support from family and friends, and even a lack of contact with other adults, can increase the chance of developing a Postpartum Mood Disorder—and the COVID-19 pandemic hasn’t helped the situation. You may be afraid to connect with others in person, and virtual connections are difficult with a fussy baby in your arms. Even when family and friends are supportive, there are likely hours and hours every day that parenting is all up to you.But there are ways you can support yourself during this joyful yet challenging time so you can best care for your family. You may even find some fun connections along the way!

Find and connect with other parents

It’s not uncommon to feel isolated as a new parent: your own parents live far away; you are new to the area; you don’t have friends with young children; you just switched jobs or left your job either temporarily or permanently.In Lane County, there are lots of organizations that specialize in creating opportunities for parents to meet one another and make connections. It can be helpful to talk to other parents who have had similar experiences to yours. If you enjoy talking to other parents, find a local group of parents that matches your values and interests. Here are some options:

Parenting Now: Offers parenting groups that are age-specific, including Infants, ONEs, TWOs, and THREEs. Also offers a drop-in Baby Connection program for feeding support for those with infants under one year.

Daisy CHAIN: Offers weekly Baby Pop Music in the Park classes, as well as free birth and postpartum doula services and lactation support. These classes are drop-in and so fun for everyone! Music can lift your spirit, and who doesn’t love a group of babies dancing with their caregivers?

Facebook Parenting Groups: There are many private groups on Facebook for parents. Some are specific to attachment parenting or nursing, while others are more general such as Eugene Springfield Moms, MOM Eugene, The Coolest Mamas in Eugene, Florence Oregon Moms and Dads.

Healthy Families Lane County: Offers free individualized parent support for expecting parents and those with a newborn baby. Call Parenting Now for more information.

Nurturely: Babywearing & Bailando Program: Free in-person meetups in local area parks for parents and supporters. In Spanish and English!

WellMama: Peer-led groups for pregnancy and postpartum support. When you’re feeling down, reach out here to others who have felt that way too.

Talk with a professional

In addition to building your network of parent friends, you could also seek the support of professionals who specialize in postpartum support. Parenting Educators, Family Support Specialists, family therapists, and your OBGYN can all help navigate the ups and downs of parenting and lend a sympathetic ear when you are struggling. Postpartum Support International has many resources to share. You can find them at https://www.postpartum.net/

When it feels like it’s too much

Sometimes even a strong support system isn’t enough to keep you from feeling down.If you start to feel depressed most of the day; feel scared or anxious; develop little interest in things that used to give you joy; feel tired all the time; have trouble sleeping or sleep too much; have trouble bonding with your baby; or have thoughts of harm to yourself or others it is possible that you have developed a Postpartum Mood Disorder.It’s important to note that having a Postpartum Mood Disorder is not your fault. In fact, it is so common that 1 in 5 mothers report experiencing Postpartum Depression. Fathers can also experience PPD. But it is treatable. If you think you have signs or symptoms of Postpartum Mood Disorder, call your healthcare provider right away.Parenting is a hard job. But you are not alone in this journey—there are people who want to help, and lots of parents who are right there with you, ready to support you and your family.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

The Power of Positive Attention

Posted on August 26, 2021 - 9:55 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Everyone at every age can thrive on positive attention! It feels good when someone focuses his or her full attention – in a good way – on you. Children, especially, need that attention in order to grow emotionally, develop their self-esteem, confidence, and a positive sense of identity.But as parents, we get busy and forget to pay attention and give praise when our child does something we like or are proud of. When children feel ignored, or their attempts to get your attention fail, it can sometimes lead to challenging behavior, such as coloring on the walls or throwing toys. This is sometimes known as seeking negative attention.If you’re spending more time pointing out or correcting misbehaviors, it might be time to focus your efforts on using “positive attention,” focusing on “catching them being good.”

Why use positive attention?

Parental attention is a powerful tool. When you give your child positive attention, you are building their self-esteem and confidence, as well as trust and a closer bond with you.On the flip side, if you mostly pay attention to your child when they are displaying challenging or negative behaviors they will learn that if they want your attention they should chase the cat around the house or hide your car keys.“Positive attention,” notes the Child Mind Institute, “requires a lens shift in which we call out kids for good behavior and ignore (at least in the moment) the not-so-good.”

Positive attention in action

Positive attention simply means “catching your child in the act” of doing something positive, whether it’s a behavior or a task. This could include: cleaning up their toys, sharing nicely with their sibling, saying “thank you,” waiting patiently in line, feeding the dog, picking out their clothes for school, etc.There are many ways to give positive attention to your child, including:

smiling

hugging

nodding

eye contact

showing interest in your child’s interests and accomplishments

giving specific praise, especially praise of their effort

With positive attention you can give praise for any behavior you want to see repeated. Specific phrases that note exactly what your child is being praised for are much more powerful than general phrases like “good job”. For example: “Thank you for petting the kitty so gently. Your nice touches made the kitty feel calm and happy.” Describe what you see them doing or saying. When you point out the impact of their positive behavior, the praise becomes more powerful. Your ultimate goal will be to support your child to behave well even when you are not there to see it. To achieve this, you can help them notice when they are proud of themselves, by asking about their feelings. “How does it feel when the kitty purrs when you pet her?” This will go a long way in building your child’s self esteem.Other points to consider:

Did he put away most of his toys?
- Notice that some toys got put away, rather than what did NOT get done. “Thank you for putting those toys away. It helps Daddy when you clean up after you play.”
- Lend a hand to finish the job. Doing a chore together is giving your child attention and support.
- You don’t need to wait until a task is complete or “perfect” before you offer praise. Praise can be offered when your child starts a task or makes an effort. Praising the effort rather than the outcome is a powerful way to increase their effort and shows that you are noticing what they are doing.

To build confidence and independence, give praise when your child takes care of themselves while you are doing what you need to, such as getting their own drink of water, or picking out their clothes for the day while you make breakfast. Little ones want to be “big” more than anything. “Look at how grown up you are, getting your own drink of water! How do you feel when you can do things for yourself?”

Pay attention to your attention

Positive attention can also come in the form of intentional time spent together, such as playing your child’s favorite game, reading books together, going on a post-dinner walk in the neighborhood, or baking together. Follow your child’s lead by asking them to choose the activity and then doing it the way they want to do it. Even 20 minutes of focused fun together invests in your relationship, and goes a long way to build a solid foundation to rely on when times or situations are more difficult.At the end of the day, your child just wants to feel loved and valued. It takes effort to incorporate positive attention into your day. But once you make it a habit to point out when your child is being helpful or making positive choices, dishing out positive attention will become second nature to you.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Team Parenting After a Separation

Posted on August 19, 2021 - 9:24 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Team parenting is about having a shared approach to parenting, even when the parents don’t live together. It includes having similar approaches to everything from bedtime to how to handle discipline, and supporting one another in those choices. Team parenting can make the daily challenges of parenting so much easier, by helping your child understand consistent routines and boundaries, wherever they might be.Some families find being on the same page when it comes to parenting styles and choices can be challenging, especially for those who are divorced or separated. Though it might take a bit of effort from both parents, it is possible to work as a team to be strong, supportive, consistent parents for your child.And it all starts with communication.

Effective communication is key to team parenting

When you parent as a team, you are modeling healthy relationships, and supporting your child’s emotional well-being. After all, you both have the common goal of raising your child to be healthy, happy and successful. Keep this common goal foremost in your mind anytime you discuss parenting with each other.As parents, being able to communicate openly, without judgement or criticism, can help with problem-solving and managing challenges. Here are some communication points to keep in mind:

Understand each other’s basic ideas or values about parenting. Talk about it or take a parenting class together. You may have some different ideas or values, but the key is in finding common ground, and making your children’s lives consistent.

Know and respect each other’s specific family and cultural history. What traditions do you want to keep in your household? What would you like to add or change? Supporting each other’s choices and practices models respect for your children’s heritage and sense of belonging.

Come to a decision on “daily” issues or rules, such as bedtime, meals, or screen time. If you disagree, find a middle ground. If it is impossible for these daily activities to look the same across both households, try to have similar expectations.

Avoid criticizing or complaining about the other parent to your children or within earshot of them. Be constructive, provide feedback, and keep your adult discussions private.

We all make mistakes. Offer each other some grace. Let your children see your sincere apology when needed.

Appreciate each other’s viewpoints and needs. Be flexible and see where you both can compromise.

When it comes to discussions about your child, put aside your own feelings of anger, hurt, or resentment toward your former partner—put your child’s well-being first.

Even with lots of communication and shared agreements, there are bound to be arguments and struggles. When possible, discuss parenting issues, especially major ones, when you are both calm. It’s important for children to see that their parents are united and working as a team. Stability and consistency make children feel safe and confident. This could include:

Aim for a consistent daily schedule in both households.

Follow similar systems of consequences for broken rules.

Strive to maintain similar rules in each household.

Child-centered decision making

At the end of the day, it comes down to child-centered decision-making. Communicate what your values and ideas are about parenting. Support each other by agreeing on general rules, guidelines and discipline. Compromise and be flexible about places you don’t agree. Your child will benefit if she or he sees your family as a team working together.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Survival Tips for Summer Parenting

Posted on August 7, 2021 - 12:01 am by Early Childhood Hub

Summer is a busy time for parents. There’s swimming, camps, sleepovers, picnics, playgrounds—not to mention the everyday chores like laundry that need tending to. It can be hard to manage it all in one day!So what can parents do to juggle the demands of parenting, while still finding balance in their day and keeping their sanity? Trying to be all and do all is an impossible task. Setting realistic priorities and expectations will allow you to approach your day with more focus and confidence and allow you to be your best for your family. Below are more tips for juggling the demands of parenting, especially during the summer months.

Plan and organize

One of the first steps in managing all this summer fun is to get that information out of your head and onto paper. Decide what type of calendar will best keep you organized-would you prefer to use a digital or printed calendar? You and your child could even craft a calendar together that uses basic icons to show your activities for the week, such as “waves” for swimming, a “book” for the library, “slide” for the playground!Over the weekend, jot down the activities you have planned for the upcoming week, such as swim lessons, dinner at Grandma’s, blueberry picking, etc. Then, with your children, pick a few additional activities you want to do during the week. Examples could be: visit the library, go to the park, swim in a lake. How many additional activities you want to squeeze into your day/week is up to you. Planning ahead will keep you from overextending yourself. Remember, simple routines can simplify life. Be sure to leave time for resting and the lazy days that allow you and your children to recharge and your children to learn to occupy themselves.Having a plan for the week can also help your kids know what to expect. Routines and schedules have the advantage of creating structure and helping kids feel safe as they navigate their daily lives.

Prep ahead of time

Look for other places in your life that could benefit from some prepping ahead of time. For example, if you know you’ll be at the pool several days of the week, have a designated swim bag—preloaded with towels, extra clothes, pool toys, goggles, sunscreen, snacks, water bottles—at the ready. Keep it by the front door.Other ideas include:

Meal plan: Before you head to the grocery store, pick the dinner meals you want to prepare Monday through Friday. Make a list of the ingredients you need.

Prepare crockpot meals in the morning, so they will be ready to go for dinner.

Some grocery stores have the option of purchasing groceries online, then either picking them up or having them delivered to your home. It’s a great time-saver and can be used in conjunction with your meal planning.

For kids in summer camps, pack lunches the night before and get their clothes ready for the next day.

Shower at night to ease your morning routine.

Secure time for self-care

Self-care for parents is important year-round, but can be especially important during times of stress or when you feel otherwise overwhelmed or burnt out. As parents, we do a lot for our kids and it can be easy to overlook our own needs. This summer, make room in your routine to care for your health and do something you enjoy!This could include:

Read a chapter in a book once per day or once per week.

Eat healthy, seasonal fruits and veggies.

Take a walk through your neighborhood or on a local trail.

Spend a few moments alone taking deep breaths—in the sunshine!

If your own needs as an adult are being met, it is much easier to be patient with your child and be available to them when they want to tell you about their soccer lesson or show you a “cool trick” they learned. It is also easier to stay calm during the hard moments.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Backyard Pool Safety

Posted on June 14, 2021 - 10:51 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Summer weather is upon us and parents and kids alike are chomping at the bit to get out the goggles and cannonball into the swimming pool. But with COVID-19 restrictions still in place, more families are opting for a backyard, above ground swimming pool or wading pool.Swimming and water play bring endless joy to kids and is a great source of exercise. However, when you have a body of water in your backyard, even if it’s only 1 foot deep, you need to be extra mindful of your children when they are swimming or playing near the pool. Here are some tips for keeping your kids safe this summer around the water.

Wise to Water Safety

First, the scary part: According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), drowning is the second leading cause of death in children ages 1-4. Even just 1 inch of water is enough to drown an infant or toddler. Now, the good news: With precautions in place and your eagle eye while on lifeguard duty, you and your kiddos can have a splashing good time this summer.

Precautions

If you have a backyard pool or wading pool, there are some precautions you may want to consider before diving in:

Set some rules: Talk to your children about the “rules of the pool,” such as “no one in the pool unless a parent is outside with you,” “no climbing on the ladder,” “a grownup must always be present when you play in the backyard,” “never swim alone,” and “no horseplay.”

Designate a “Water Watcher.” When family and friends are over for a summer BBQ, it’s easy to assume that someone—Grandpa? Mom? Aunt Maggie?—has their eyes on the children. However, more adults present doesn’t always equal better supervision. Designate a person to stay with the kids while they play in or near the water. Rotate out the job, just like lifeguards do.

Install fencing around your pool so the kids can’t climb in when you are not with them. The AAP recommends that backyard swimming pools, (including large, inflatable above-ground pools), be surrounded with a fence at least 54 inches high with a self-closing latch.

Motion sensors and alarms are also available for purchase that alert you to when a child has jumped or fallen in the pool. Even motion sensor lights provide some protection at night.

Before your child gets in the pool, bring everything you will need with you including a towel, change of clothes, snacks, water, and sunscreen. In the seconds it takes to run inside and grab a towel, drowning can happen.

Be honest with your kids about the dangers of swimming pools. Talk about it and work through how your children can be safe in and around the pool.

In the Pool

One of the most important rules of water safety is constant, vigilant supervision. If you have a backyard swimming pool, you will need to be near your kids while they swim—that means eyes up, book and phone down. The AAP recommends using “touch supervision” while kids are in the water, meaning that you stay within arms reach of your young child or non-swimmer when they are in or around water.Water wings or floating toys do not prevent your child from drowning, and even may make them more daring by providing a false sense of security. A proper flotation could include the use of personal flotation devices or lifejackets while in the pool.According to the USA Swimming Foundation, one month of formal swimming lessons reduces the risk of drowning in children by 88%. If possible, sign your child up for swim lessons to learn the basics of swimming, including rolling from front to back and floating. In addition, consider getting your CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) certification. American Red Cross, Oregon CPR, Lane County CPR, and CPR & First Aid Training Center offer classes regularly in adult and pediatric CPR and First Aid. Contact your preferred center to schedule a class.Here’s to a safe and splashing good summer!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Waking in the Night and Ways To Prevent It

Posted on June 3, 2021 - 11:54 pm by Early Childhood Hub

As an exhausted parent of an infant, you may have dreamed of the day that you would finally get a full night’s sleep again—only to find that your toddler is still waking up in the middle of the night! Parenting is about learning along the way and adjusting expectations for your particular child and their developmental stage.You’re not alone. One in three children under the age of 5 has sleep and bedtime challenges, including waking up in the middle of the night.While there are a number of factors that can cause night wakings, there are also a number of things you can do to help your toddler gently fall—and stay—in a deep slumber.

What’s going on with your toddler?

While most sleep patterns are established in infancy, even the best sleepers can go through sleep challenges during toddlerhood. Here are some common reasons:

Changes to sleep schedules: According to kidshealth.org, between the ages 1 and 2, most toddlers need about 11-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Somewhere between the ages of 1 and 2, your child will transition from 2 naps to 1 nap and this can have an affect on their sleep at night. Some parents find having them nap earlier in the day can help them be more ready for bed at night.

Teething: Toddlers might wake in the night because of teething pain. Molars start coming in anytime between 13 and 19 months of age. Molars are large and have double edges—ouch! Other signs that indicate your toddler’s wakefulness is from teething are excess drool, chewing, biting, and crankiness.

Bad Dreams: At this age, dreams and nightmares start popping up and it’s hard for toddlers to tell the difference between reality and a bad dream. You can talk about dreams being “pictures in your mind” and provide needed comfort. Anxiety can come from multiple sources, and gets worked through in dreams, so you might think about what is going on for them to try to mitigate and help them work through the emotions while awake.

Separation anxiety: Your child wants to be with you and if they fall asleep with you by their side, they will want you there to help them fall back asleep. While they are developmentally working on their independence, they still have a need for your comfort, and to know you are there for them when they are having a hard time. You might try playing “hide and seek” during the day with them, so they can experience you always being there, even though they don’t see you for a while.

New milestones: During the toddler years, your child is meeting many new milestones. A disruption in sleep might indicate that your toddler is on the verge of mastering a new skill, such as jumping, throwing a ball, speaking in sentences. Sleep is essential to complete their learning of these new skills, and they may wake themselves up when they move around in their dreams.

Ways you can help

Keep your house quiet at night. Some toddlers are sensitive to TV noise or loud talking, and it can be distracting to their sleep. Although some toddlers respond to soft music or white noise, just like when they were infants, keep noise to a minimum and of the droning variety. Avoid giving your toddler a screen or tablet or putting a tv in their room.

Limit sugary food or drinks after dinner.

For nightmares: Limit screen time before bed and monitor what your child watches. If your child does see a disturbing image, talk it through with them and validate their feelings. Assure them you will keep them safe.

For separation anxiety: Snuggle on the couch with your pet if you have one, and if not, with a favorite stuffie. Investing in this close connection time will help build their tolerance for being alone in their bed.

Avoid pushing back bedtime: While it can be tempting to put them to sleep later, the more overtired your toddler is, the harder time they will have falling and staying asleep. We have all experienced “overtired” toddlers and that’s hard on everyone!

To make bedtime more appealing, let your toddler pick out their jammies, a stuffy to take to bed, 3 books to read with you either before or after they are in their bed.

Get into a routine

Toddlers thrive on routine and knowing what to expect next. Set an established bedtime that will fit into your family’s schedule. Create a bedtime routine for your toddler to follow. Consistency is key. Do the same things in the same order every evening. For example:

Use the toilet

Brush teeth

Say goodnight to the family (pets, too!)

Read books

Go to bed at a set time

Stay in bed until morning

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Teaching Your Child to Become Resilient

Posted on May 20, 2021 - 12:48 am by Early Childhood Hub

Changes and challenges – big and small – are part of life, and all children will face them at some point. While we can’t protect our children from every hurdle or disappointment they face, teaching resiliency skills to our children can help them bounce back from life’s setbacks. In addition, resiliency also has other benefits, including building confidence and the willingness to try new things.What does it mean to be “resilient”?Being resilient is the ability to quickly recover from setbacks, and adapt to change.It’s the ability to keep working at something, even when it’s not easy. For children, they may face big challenges such as starting a new school, bullying, or moving to a new town. They may also face every day challenges like being corrected by a teacher, not being chosen for a team, or falling off their bike.As a parent, you can help your child learn the skills they need to build their resilience through everyday parenting tips.

Let your child be a problem-solver and find solutions to simple problems, such as finding their shoes or getting a cup of water. Children need to learn critical thinking skills and then practice their problem solving. The starting point can be everyday play. Here, they are surrounded with chances to problem solve, whether they’re playing an imaginary game with their toys, building with blocks, or coloring. Giving your child choices is a first step, even for toddlers.

Allow for appropriate risk or age-appropriate freedoms. Life is full of risk—some serious, some mundane. We make decisions every day that involve some level of risk (“Do I buy broccoli instead of peas this week and risk that my child will spit it out in protest?”). With our children, it’s the same. Not every “risk” is obvious. Learning to ride a skateboard or climbing a tree both involve obvious, physical risk. It’s more about taking a step back to evaluate where you can give your child opportunities to challenge themselves. Maybe it’s urging them to climb up one higher branch on a tree (or climb it at all), or allowing them to get a skateboard for their birthday (Don’t forget knee/elbow pads and a helmet!)

Allow your child to make mistakes. Think of mistakes as learning opportunities for your child. Being there for them when they get a failing grade even though they refused to study for a test or allowing them to feel disappointment when they don’t make the softball team—these are opportunities to talk about consequences, and what they could do differently next time. Avoid being judgmental (I told you so). Instead, help your child see that the outcome might have been different if they put in more effort.

Encourage your child to keep trying. If the situation is beyond their skill level, build in any support they might need. A math tutor or even an older child can help them learn the skills needed to be successful or inspire them to keep going. You can share the superpower of the word “yet.” You aren’t hitting the ball “yet,” or you don’t know the words to the song “yet.” “Yet” implies they will be successful at some point, and it sometimes takes the willingness to keep on trying to make that happen.

Talk about emotions openly. Part of being human is feeling a wide range of emotions, from happiness and anger, to sadness and disappointment. Encourage your child to talk about their emotions and allow them to feel what they need to feel in the moment. Life seems unfair sometimes. Validate their difficult feelings and help them frame the situation in terms of what they learned.

Model being resilient for your child. As your child’s primary “life” teacher, use your own mistakes or challenges to show that it’s possible to bounce back from setbacks and overcome challenges. For example, “I also feel disappointed that we can’t visit Grandma this weekend. And we can call her on Saturday and talk about all the fun things we will do when we can all be together again.”

Supporting your child’s coping skillsIt’s natural to want to keep your children safe and to protect their feelings. But you can’t shield them from every hurt and disappointment. What you can do though, is help them learn to cope and build their resiliency skills. Bouncing back from life’s disappointments, big or small, is a life skill you can help your child learn.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Positive Parenting Today for a Brighter Tomorrow

Posted on April 28, 2021 - 1:11 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parenting is important work—but it isn’t always easy. Even though it can be the most rewarding work we do, often it can feel exhausting and demanding. Parents have the important responsibility of raising the next generation. As we walk into this role hopeful and excited, many of us may feel unprepared, learning through trial and error as we go.

We all strive to raise healthy children in a loving, nurturing environment, and Triple P—Positive Parenting Program—supports parents by helping them work through the day-to-day challenges all parents face.

The Triple P approach starts by acknowledging that there is no right or perfect way to parent. It’s up to each of us to decide what values and skills we would like our children to have and how we will teach them. Every family has their own traditions, values, customs, and habits. There isn’t one “right way” to raise your child. You get to decide the values, skills, and actions you want to encourage and discourage and what approaches you want to take.

But while no two families are exactly the same, all families can use some practical tips about what we know through research to be helpful in raising children.

What is positive parenting?

Positive parenting is an approach to parenting that aims to build good relationships with children. It provides strategies for parents to give children encouragement and attention and learn good communication skills. Children who grow up with positive parenting are likely to develop the skills they need in life, feel good about themselves, and contribute to their community. Positive parenting has 5 main cornerstones:

Provide a safe, interesting home environment

Ensure that your home is childproofed so your infant and toddler can safely explore and play. Remember, children develop skills through curiosity and exploration.

Have engaging activities at the ready, such as drawing, painting, and imaginative play items. Interesting things to see, hear, touch and manipulate feed their physical, social and emotional growth.

Keep dangerous or breakable items out of reach from children.

Keep children out of areas that are not safe.

Create a positive learning environment

Be available to your child when they need your attention.

Follow your child’s lead. They will show you new and creative ways to play.

Notice and remark on behavior you want to encourage.

Manage misbehavior in a positive, healthy way

Be consistent in your approach to challenging behavior.

Stay calm, avoid yelling, threats, or name calling.

Say what you want, rather than what you don’t want

When you treat your child with respect, you are teaching them to treat others with respect

Encourage your child to be proud of their own positive behavior to develop their self-regulation

Set realistic expectations for yourself and your child

Keep in mind your child’s developmental age, temperament, learning style, and skills—all children learn and develop at their own pace.

No child will act perfectly all the time. Just like adults, they can have challenging days.

Know that every parent makes mistakes, and we can learn from them.

Make time for yourself as a parent

Parenting is easier and more pleasant when your own needs are met.

Being a good parent does not mean sacrificing what makes you YOU—make time for hobbies, friends, your spouse, or just some quiet time with coffee and a book.

It’s never too late or too soon to employ positive parenting techniques

Think about actions, attitudes or skills you would like to grow in yourself and in your child. For example: your child’s refusals at bedtime, or how you respond to stressful moments. Choose one or two things to work on and set some goals. Keep your goals simple and realistic so you can be successful. Get support. Clear goals help you focus on what you want to change, and help you work towards making those changes. And remember to celebrate when you have succeeded!