Parenting Tips – Page 10 – United Way of Lane County Testing

Setting Parenting Goals For The New Year

Posted on January 28, 2022 - 6:20 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Parent reading a book together with a child on the couch

It’s a time-honored tradition to set goals for yourself for the New year. For some, it’s reducing sugar intake; for others, it is spending more time in nature. But what if this year you tried setting parenting goals for yourself?

Your parenting goals could be a behavior you want to change in yourself, such as practicing being “present” at the moment, or a family goal of spending more time together, cutting down screen time, etc. To make a change that will stick, it’s best to start small with goals that are realistic and achievable. The key is to make sure you are successful. Make a list of two or three clear goals. Here are some ideas:

Carve out time for yourself

When you are on an airplane, you know that in case of an emergency you put on your own oxygen mask and then help your child put on their mask. The fact is that taking care of your needs means you are better able to take care of your child’s needs. Not only will you be nurturing yourself, but practicing self-care will also help you be a better parent and model for your child that you are important as well.

Having trouble thinking about what kinds of things you need to do to care for yourself? Think about what you do for your child – you make sure they eat right, sleep enough, play, express their emotions and creativity, and so much more. You can do the same kinds of things for yourself. Here are some other ideas to meet your self-care needs:

Spend time in nature. It’s proven to help reduce anxiety and stress. There are a lot of great Lane County spots – walk to Delta Ponds and look for herons and turtles. Even a walk in the park or sitting on a bench by the river will help to renew you and bring you into your body so you can be more present with your child. Sound overwhelming? Walk outside your door and look at the sky, watch the wind blow the trees, or appreciate your neighbor’s garden.

Parenting brings a lot of joy, but it also brings stress and challenges. Having friends to talk with, play with, cry and laugh with is an essential part of self-care. Parenting groups are a great place to create new friendships with other parents, often with children in the same age range as your child. Reconnect with a friend you haven’t seen in a while by sending a quick text or call.

Use exercise as a way to reduce stress, as well as have fun and improve your mood and physical health. Exercise has proven mood-boosting properties, and there are lots of fun ways to get the heart-rate going, including a family dance party, soccer game, or running challenges.

Make it a priority every day to spend a little time on you – you’re worth it!

Be more present

“Presence” is the concept of being alert and focused on the current moment, rather than looking ahead to the future, or distracting yourself from the moment with other thoughts or activities. Being present with our children is a great way to meet their emotional needs.We can think of being present with our children by picturing opening our arms to them, either to encourage them to explore or to welcome them back. Children need both of these things, and they learn to be independent by first knowing they have you to always be there for them.Some experts say with 15 minutes of your fully focused attention children will feel satisfied and independent for the next half hour or so. If a work email needs to get sent ASAP but your toddler is struggling to play independently, try reading books with him for 15 minutes first, then try getting your work done again. You can think of the positive time and attention you are giving your children as “money in the bank,” or positive connection you can count on as a buffer for when you need to be away from them. Other ways to feel and be more present, include:

Putting down your phone, tablet or other device, and putting them out of sight.

Kneel down to talk to your toddler or young child at eye-level. It’s scary to always be looking up at people towering over you. When you talk with them on their level, they feel safe.

Take 5 minutes every day to just breathe, meditate, stretch—whatever it is that clears and calms your head.

Can’t go wrong with a focus on family

The great thing about setting parenting goals is that you can’t really do it wrong. Just the simple act of intending to set parenting goals to improve your skills as a parent, spend more time together with your family, or change the way you interact with your children, shows just how much you love them. Here’s to a great year in 2022!

This article is brought to you by Parenting Now Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz, and consultant Jay Thompson. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now, please visit their website or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Triple P page.

COVID-19 Vaccine for Children: Let’s Keep Families Healthy and Schools Open

Posted on December 18, 2021 - 1:36 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent comforting a masked child while a health worker gives a vaccine

by Jeanne Savage MDChief Medical Officer, Trillium Community Health Plan

As a physician and a parent, I know firsthand that making decisions about vaccinations for your child can be difficult. It’s important to do your research. It’s important to consult with trusted healthcare professionals, including your child’s practitioner. And it’s important to feel confident that you are making the best choice for your child and your family based on the available facts.

That includes COVID-19 vaccinations. The virus remains a very real threat here in Oregon, where cases are on the rise, hundreds of people are hospitalized, and victims continue to die from it. Since the start of the pandemic, more than 26,000 children under the age of 10 have tested positive for COVID-19 and at least 245 have been hospitalized.

In November 2021, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommended that children ages 5 to 11 get vaccinated against COVID-19 with the Pfizer-BioNTech pediatric vaccine. Earlier, the CDC recommended vaccinations for children ages 12-15. In advance of making these recommendations, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and the CDC carefully reviewed safety data from the clinical trials and authorized the COVID-19 vaccines after measuring the benefits and risks. COVID-19 vaccination was nearly 91 percent effective in preventing COVID-19 among children aged 5-11 years. In the clinical trials, children experienced mild side effects – most commonly a sore arm – similar to the side effects seen in adults and with other vaccines recommended for kids. In short, the COVID-19 vaccine for kids is safe and highly effective.

I understand that your child’s health and well-being is your top priority. As the pandemic continues to last far longer than we all hoped it would, there are compelling reasons to consider COVID-19 vaccination for your child. For instance, vaccinating children ages 5 years and older will not only protect them but can also help protect other members of your family, including siblings who are not eligible for vaccination and family members who may be at increased risk of getting extremely ill if they are infected. And as we know, opportunities for in-person learning and social experiences are key to improving your children’s education and mental health. Getting your child vaccinated can help them stay in school and safely participate in sports, playdates, and other group activities.

As a health partner to Oregon residents and the members we serve, Trillium Community Health Plan (Trillium) actively partners with our provider network to help our members, their families, and their communities stay healthy. We have implemented a coordinated outreach plan to connect members with vaccination sites, address vaccine hesitancy through education, and remove barriers to vaccine access. Trillium staff meet regularly with providers, state and local governments, and community-based organizations to support vaccination opportunities for Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) and other underserved populations. We are here to help our communities connect to care.

As we enter the winter season, we’ll all be spending more time indoors where it is easier for the COVID-19 virus to spread. As new variants emerge, it’s more important than ever to protect our children and our communities by building strong immune systems against the virus. Let’s work together to help keep families healthy and schools open. Talk to your child’s doctor about the COVID vaccine today.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Visitors During the Holiday Season

Posted on December 16, 2021 - 6:46 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Family members embracing and exchanging a gift during a holiday visit

With many adults vaccinated and children ages 5 and up now eligible for their COVID-19 vaccination, families are looking forward to reuniting with family and friends this holiday season after a long stretch of social distancing. But while you may be excited to have Grandma over for a New Year’s fest, your child may have some concerns about it.

It’s completely normal for some children to be worried about having visitors over. To children, there is no safer place in the entire world than their home. Letting someone in, regardless of how well they know them, can sometimes set off alarm bells in a child. The social distancing that began in March 2020 was a first for many where we did not gather with friends or family in groups, or if we did, it was rare and with precautions. Think about what percentage of your child’s life has happened since then – for a three-year-old, this is how it has been for half their life. No wonder this change can cause some discomfort!

If this is happening in your home, first, pay attention to your own concerns or worries and manage those. Your child will pick up on your calmness and will help them manage his own stress and worry.

Knowing the signs to look for, as well as ways to help your child work through their feelings, can go a long way in building up your child’s social-emotional skills when it comes to having visitors over.

What’s so scary about having visitors over?

There are a number of reasons your child might act nervous before guests arrive or behave differently when guests are over, especially if it has not been a regular occurrence:

Lack of practice about how to behave with friends in their own space

They don’t know or remember how to ask for what they need/want from peers

They don’t know or remember how to join in play

They don’t know how to respond to peers when there is conflict

They want all their parent’s attention

They get bored or restless when they don’t have their parent’s attention

They have an unmet physical needs like hunger or rest

They had a negative experience the last time visitors came over, such as a playmate who took their favorite toys and refused to take turns.

A recent bout of illness can also lead to anxious behavior in other areas of a child’s life, such as having visitors over.

The tell-tale signs

Have you noticed that your child acts differently when visitors come to your home? You may notice your child:

Being overly loud or silly

Showing off/demanding your attention

Refusing to play or share toys with a playmate

Excessive teasing of a sibling or playmate

Whining

Learning complex social skills—such as greeting visitors, talking politely, getting your attention politely, and entertaining friends—is something that takes time, patience, and practice. When you know visitors will be coming over, here are some things to keep in mind:

Try to plan visits around your child’s usual sleep and meal times so they are not tired or hungry when visitors arrive.

Practice or role-play manners you would like to see with guests, i.e. saying please and thank you or asking their friend to decide what to play. Start with a shorter amount of time for guests, then build up as they get reacquainted with expectations

Tell your child who is coming over and the reason for the visit — “Your Great Grandma is coming over tonight to celebrate New Year’s Eve with us.”

Let your child know what to expect; what will happen when guests are there.

Plan some activities for your child to do while guests are visiting, ideally something your child can manage on their own, such as soft dough, coloring books, or building blocks. Some children need more guidance when it comes to play, especially when playing with a new friend or in a new situation. Save yourself a lot of interruptions by planning some activities and setting them up before your guests arrive. You can also think of things your child might like to show their visitor.

Check-in on your child from time to time. Notice when your child is playing well with another child or on their own and show your approval to your child. A quick hug can send the message that you are still thinking about your child even while in the other room visiting with Great Grandma.

Having visitors over can be a fun time for your child to mix with others–both adults and other children. With a little practice and guidance, your child will look forward to having friends and family over for visits. We will all build up those social-emotional muscles and connect with others comfortably again.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

All Parents Benefit From Parenting Education

Posted on December 16, 2021 - 2:06 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent and toddler laughing together while taking a selfie at home

According to the National Parenting Education Network, “Loving may be instinctual, but skills are developed. Even before becoming a parent and throughout your journey, you can continually learn skills and gain insights. These empower relationships, support growth and development, and create family well-being, even during difficult transitions.”As parents, we can all benefit from parenting education, no matter your culture, family background, location or financial status. Parenting education programs often start by supporting you to think about your values. What kind of parent do you want to be? What are the wishes or hopes you have for your child? What are you already doing that is supporting these goals? What else could you do? Parenting programs also focus on helping you think about parenting practices and behaviors, such as:

Developing and practicing positive discipline techniques

Learning what is reasonable to expect your child to do based on age

Developmental milestones

Promoting positive play and interaction between parents and children

Locating and accessing community services and supports

You can also learn about your child’s temperament, which will help you choose strategies that will work best for them. Through a parenting education program, you can learn about the needs of your children, as well as your own needs as a parent, including:

How to best support children of different ages and stages of development

Developing strong and healthy relationships with your children

Activities for every stage of development that help children become healthy and successful physically, emotionally, socially, and academically

Healthy ways to cope with the stress of parenting

The importance of caring for yourself in order to be the parent you want to be

In turn, children:

Feel confident and safe

Build strong relationships

Are emotionally stable

Are more successful in school

Decrease their chance of
- substance abuse
- teen pregnancy
- dropping out of school

In Lane County, parenting education programs are offered in a variety of settings: in-person classes and workshops, online, individual counseling sessions, facilitated groups, or home visits. A parenting program, such as Triple P Online (TPOL), offers parents the opportunity to receive support and education from the comforts of home on their own schedule. Triple P Online is an online course for parents and caregivers of children ages 2-12, comprising 12 modules introducing different skills to help families thrive. Information is delivered in video format with activities to customize the program to your family. Group-based parenting education, led by a professional Parenting Educator, is another way to receive support. Parenting groups, such as those offered at Parenting Now, can help reduce feelings of isolation by connecting you with families who have similar-aged children. During a parenting group, you might, for example, learn you are not the only one having a hard time getting your child to sleep or being able to find someone for a playdate. Individualized parent support programs, such as Healthy Families Lane County, can begin before your baby is born until your child is 2 years old, and will support you to set your family up for success as well as connect you with community resources, answering questions like:

Where can I get support with infant feeding?

Who can I contact with concerns about my baby’s development?

How do I get my baby to sleep through the night?

How do we integrate this new baby into our family?

Many local resources—including counseling services, help with basic needs, and more—can be found at Parenting Now’s Resources for Families website. For a list of family-friendly activities and other parenting classes, visit the LaneKids’s website. When you can reduce isolation and get more support, resources and information, your stress as a parent goes down. Parenting education programs support parents by equipping them with the skills and confidence they need to handle parenting challenges and build strong relationships with their kids. Parenting education, in whatever form you choose, supports you to be the parent you want to be so your family will thrive.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Helping Toddlers Play Cooperatively

Posted on December 15, 2021 - 7:11 pm by Early Childhood Hub

From refusing to share toys to making hurtful comments, it’s important to teach children the importance of playing cooperatively and getting along with others. Teaching these skills early on in toddlerhood can help your child during a time when they are striving for independence and testing their limits.

Toddlers can sometimes fight or become physically out of frustration or anger when things do not go their way. It’s their way of communicating. Young children need to be shown how to play cooperatively with others, take turns, and problem-solve in healthy ways.

Before they play with others, toddlers play next to or near each other. When they are in the same space, toddlers can slyly watch each other and eventually will copy each other and interact minimally. You might see one take a toy from another, and in that case, you can calmly model taking turns. This is the first step in learning to play with others.

The next step is establishing some rules for playing with others. This will help them feel safe and secure, and begin to instill a sense that the world can be fair, and there is plenty for everyone. Decide on two or three simple rules for playing with friends and discuss them with your child. Ideally, the rules should tell your child what to do rather than what not to do. This could include:

Be gentle.

Take turns.

Keep your hands and feet to yourself.

Use your polite words, like “please, and thank you.”

Remember to make the rules short and easy to remember. It’s also important to give young kids the opportunity to practice these rules and playing skills with you in a supportive, safe environment. Start by playing these games with your child to show them how to take turns. Activities that promote sharing, cooperation, and taking turns are great for building healthy play skills. Ideas include:

Kicking the ball back and forth

Hide and seek

Age-appropriate board games that involve taking turns for those over 3 years old

Building with blocks (first, you put on a block, then me)

Encourage desirable behavior

When you see your child playing cooperatively with a friend, sibling, or even yourself, give them praise: “I’m noticing the two of you building the train tracks together. You are playing very gently with your little brother, Dillon. You can be proud of yourselves for playing so well together!” Talk to the kids and ask questions about what they are doing: “You two are building a great castle there, how many towers will it have?”At first, it can be helpful to step in and help children solve problems before any fighting occurs. When possible, keep an eye on your child while they play but try not to hover over them. If you notice that your child is having a hard time sharing or taking turns, you can help by giving your child some words to use: “Issac, it sounds like you want to play with the truck now. You could say to your friend, “I would like a turn with the truck. Can you please give it to me?” Or you may need to help decide who can play with a toy first: “Girls, you can both play with these toys by taking turns. Who is going to have the first turn?” Let each child go first at different times. Offering play ideas for the child waiting their turn can also help in these moments. “Sally, while you wait for the red shovel, you can choose to play with the sand sifter or green shovel.”Once you’ve supported the kids to play together within the rules, try stepping back. You may be surprised!

Manage fighting when you see it

Act quickly when you see children fighting with each other over a toy or arguing. Step in and be clear and firm in your tone but not angry. Remember, your child is not purposefully misbehaving. You can use these moments to teach your child about feelings and healthy ways to express their anger or frustration.

When we can identify and name our feelings, our mind can calm. When you acknowledge how they are feeling, they will feel heard and seen. After they feel heard, they can move to the thinking part of their brain to problem solve. Soon you will hear them taking turns on their own, and then you will see interactive play: they will start listening to each other’s ideas and negotiating how the play will unfold. You may need to step in from time to time, especially when feelings become heated. Remember, it takes time to learn the life skills of cooperation and getting along together, and they learn these skills through relationships developed in play.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Mealtime Tips for Toddlers

Posted on December 15, 2021 - 1:15 am by Early Childhood Hub

Mealtime with a toddler can be busy, messy, and chaotic while they are learning how to eat independently. As toddlers’ tastes mature and their skills develop, so does their interest in trying a wider variety of foods that they can feed themselves. Toddlers can learn to eat what the rest of the family eats. It just takes some preparation, creativity, and patience. If your family eats many spicy foods, offer your toddler a more mild version until their taste buds get used to it. For soup, some families serve the solid parts and the liquid part separately to increase the likelihood of their toddler consuming more nutrition. You don’t need to make a separate meal for your toddler, but you can present it to them in a way they can be more successful with it.

Successful mealtimes

Set regular mealtimes

Set up a predictable mealtime routine for your toddler, with your usual meals plus a couple of snacks in between. Toddlers typically need to eat 6 times a day. By limiting snacks and drinks to particular times, your toddler will be more hungry for meals, so they may eat more of the healthy foods you have prepared for them. They are also learning to recognize how “hungry” and “full” feel in their body.
Eat meals together

Toddlers learn a great deal about eating and mealtime through watching others. When possible, eat meals together as a family at a table. Not only is it a chance to model healthy eating habits, but an opportunity to give your child positive attention. We learn social skills and manners during meals, as well as independent eating skills. Remember toddlers are watching and listening to everything you do and say!
Expect a mess

It can be hard to stay calm when your toddler is dropping peas on the floor. Think about how they are learning about how the world works; gravity is so predictable, right? They may “play” with their food; this is their way of exploring it. We learn to tolerate a variety of textures and temperatures through repeated exposure. Remember that it is through trial and error that toddlers learn how to eat without help. Think of how they tell you they are done with the meal. Many families teach their toddlers the sign for “all done.” It is important to respect when your toddler lets you know, so they can recognize how it feels when their body tells them that they are full and that they learn to stop eating. This is part of learning good eating habits.
Prep ahead

Have everything ready before you bring your child to the highchair or table. This avoids having a hungry child waiting impatiently or getting restless. If possible use a high chair or booster seat at the table and unbreakable plates and cups. You may also want to use spoons and forks, especially for young children that are sized for them, soft to their mouths, and not a choking hazard. Remember to have napkins or wash clothes at the ready!
Introduce one food at a time

Toddlers can be choosy about what they eat, but it’s important that they eat a variety of different foods. Slowly introduce your child to new foods by letting them try one new food at a time. Too many new foods at once can feel overwhelming to a toddler. Start with small amounts of the new food along with the food you know your toddler enjoys eating. If your toddler tries the new food, make a big celebration of it. With foods, they dislike, try introducing them again in a couple of weeks. It may take many tries for your toddler to like a particular food. The trick is to not make a big deal about it, calmly remove it, and try again another time. It’s OK for your toddler to not like something–the goal is for your child to eventually eat a wide variety of foods, similar to what the rest of the family eats.
Encourage the behavior you’d like to see

Notice and give specific praise when your child uses a spoon, sits still in their seat, or tries a new food: “Makayla, look at you using your spoon! You are such a big girl! You can be proud of yourself!”If your toddler starts to throw food, calmly tell them that if they are done, you can take the food away. Then calmly remove the food. If they indicate they want the food back, you can offer the food again. You could use a phrase like, “Food is for eating, not for throwing. You can have your peas again once your body has calmed down.”
Parenting requires patience

Learning how to eat, waiting patiently for a meal, table manners—these skills take time to grasp and lots of patience from you, as a parent. Just remember that the season of messy meals, having upsets over “foods that are touching,” choosing playtime over mealtime, is short-lived. Soak up these moments—as messy as they may be.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Bedwetting Relapse – Causes and Ways To Support Your Child

Posted on December 8, 2021 - 1:25 am by Early Childhood Hub

Victoria’s daughter, Olivia, has been able to stay dry overnight ever since she was successfully potty trained when she was two and a half.

But, recently, since starting first grade at a new school, Olivia has wet the bed a few times per week. When children go through periods of transitions, change or stress—such as a big move, changing schools, or loss of a family member—they can experience what’s called “secondary enuresis.” This means that a child who once was able to control their bladder overnight for a period of at least 6 months is now unable to stay dry overnight.

While children eventually grow out of bedwetting, there are things you can do now to support your child through their bedwetting relapse.

First, reassure your child

Let your child know that you are on their side while you work through this challenge together. They may be embarrassed or ashamed, and your reaction can make all the difference. Tell them you love them and you will figure this out together.

Then, identify the cause

Bedwetting is usually the result of a lack of bladder control, but it can also be genetic, so if you or your partner wet the bed as a child, chances are your child may, too. Bedwetting can also be caused by certain medical conditions, so it is important to talk with your child’s pediatrician to rule out any underlying medical causes. In Olivia’s case, her bedwetting started when she experienced changes to her routine (going back to school after a year of distance learning) and felt the stress of starting a new school.

Take a moment to check in with your child. See if you can uncover what’s causing your child distress. What are they worried about? What is hard for them now? If they are sleeping deeply after joining a soccer team, they just don’t wake up when their bladder is full, and it may be a matter of adjusting to the new activity. It could be anything from conflict with friends; a bully at school; concern about an upcoming exam or performance; a new sibling at home; or the loss of a family pet.

Set your child up for success

In addition, you can also support your child by making some adjustments to their bedtime routine and bedroom setup:

Make sure your child’s bed is easy to get in and out of.

Avoid flannel pajamas and heavy bedding—it’s harder to feel when they are wet.

Use a nightlight so your child can move through their room easier at night.

Put a nightlight in the bathroom so the way there is well lit.

Protect the mattress with a waterproof undersheet.

Have a second set of clean sheets nearby if they need to be changed, or make the bed with two sets of sheets with an additional waterproof undersheet between the sets.

Avoid using overnight diapers for children over 3 years old. These are embarrassing and may cause harm to their self-esteem.

Avoid caffeine, sugar, and juice, especially in the evening hours.

Increase fluid intake in the earlier part of the day. A good goal is 40% of their fluid in the morning, 40% in the afternoon, and 20% in the evening.

Ask your child to use the bathroom at the beginning of the bedtime routine and then again right before going to sleep. Even if they don’t feel like they need to go, they can make sure their bladder is empty.

Olivia’s mom made sure to have a clean set of sheets and pajamas ready to go each night so that when Olivia did have an accident, Victoria could swap out the sheets quickly and change her daughter into clean pajamas. Making the accident “not a big deal” helped Oliva feel less embarrassed by her bedwetting and reduced stress on everyone in the family.

Your child will especially benefit from some extra compassion and patience during this time in their life. If you have concerns about your child’s health and development, don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s pediatrician.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Guest Blog: Tips for Enjoying the Holiday Season

Posted on November 20, 2021 - 12:48 am by Early Childhood Hub

Parent and child laughing together while rolling out holiday cookie dough

This was adapted from a Parent Chat presented by Krista Jo Swanson and Cathy Hyslop, Early Childhood CARES Behavior/Autism Consultants. A recording is available at this link https://uoregon.zoom.us/rec/share/uilhk2lh1ElWe_caNbp9Uu2PUD9jQ8cRvltMzLKek6jmAAUDTBaLOW2jwyTfE8MY.mS4zhDV2BykA5XSo , enter passcode Zr9v$#0f when prompted.

Holidays can be stressful for adults and children. Changes in routines, sensory overload, managing expectations (others’ or our own), and traveling can all contribute to holiday stress. Experts from Early Childhood CARES share tips on ways to manage your child’s (and your own) stress during the holiday season.

Routines

Young children usually need consistent routines and often the holidays bring anything but that! Think about your current routines. How do they change during the holidays? As much as possible, maintain your regular, daily routines like bedtime, playtime, and mealtime, so your child has some consistency, even when traveling. If routines will be disrupted, identify them early. Consider practicing flexibility at home before the changes occur. You can do that by making small changes in your current routine to see how your child responds. If it’s difficult, do it more often in very small steps.

Sensory Overload

Sensory input is something that impacts our senses, like lights, movement or noises. One input on its own may not be too much, but as we spend more time around sounds, lights, or hubbub, they can stack up and become overwhelming. This is sensory overload. Get to know your child’s sensory responses. Tune in to how your child responds to sensory inputs throughout their day. Then practice sensory calming activities before you go on outings. Bring along tools for helping your child meet their sensory needs like head phones, blankets, chewies, favorite toys, or bubbles.

Family Expectations

Share your needs with family and friends who are visiting. Before a visit, let guests know when they can arrive and when you need them to leave. Share your child’s sensory needs, and let people know if/when they need to keep the noise level down.Ask for help with cooking or have a potluck instead of making everything yourself. Reduce meal time stress and clean-up by serving food in ready-to-store containers or using disposable plates and silverware. If you like setting a fancy table, ask your guests for help cleaning up and washing dishes.

Expectations for yourself

Remember that your child is likely to pick up on your mood. If you are stressed because company’s coming or you haven’t finished shopping, your child may react strongly, which only adds to your stress.

If money or gift-giving expectations cause stress, think about other ways to celebrate by creating new family traditions, such as:

Bake holiday cookies together. Let your child do the mixing or pour on the sprinkles.
Take winter walks, a holiday bus tour or a drive to look at the lights and decorations.
Have special toys, music, and books that you bring out just during the holidays.
Share stories and photos of favorite holidays from past years.

Travel and staying over

If possible, spread out holiday visits instead of having one giant get-together. Talk with friends and family ahead of time to let them know what your child needs to have a good visit. Ask the host family to have a room or space for your child to take a break, if they need one. When you arrive, visit that space first and help your child get settled. Let your family know doing this step first will help you make the most of your visit. Taking frequent outdoor breaks can also help, if weather allows.

Your Home and Decorations

From adding decorations to moving furniture to make room for guests, these changes can also cause stress for children. Think about what’s really important for you, and what you can let go.

If decorations are important to you but cause stress:

Decorate with child-friendly items like soft toys and pillows.
Use pipe cleaners to hang ornaments on trees.
Let your child remove child-friendly decorations from the tree (or other display) whenever they want. Keep a container nearby to put them in.
Keep fancier decorations high up and out of reach, or don’t use them (for now) to eliminate any temptation to climb.
Give your child their own decorations that they can play with.
Don’t make any changes at all! If having to put up/take down/deal with decorations causes too much stress, it’s ok to skip it this year.

Final Thoughts

It’s OK if things don’t go as planned.

Take a break/nap with your child if you need one.

Don’t try to keep up with friends or family that make all their gifts from scratch and seem to do everything perfectly. Your life if not theirs.

Celebrate what you can do.

Make arrangements to have a break from parenting and practice self-care, at the holidays and year-round!

Don’t overload yourself with your own expectations and commitments. Find time to enjoy yourself and family – no matter what happens.

Early Childhood CARES provides early intervention and early childhood special education to infants, toddlers and preschool age children in Lane County. All services are free of charge to eligible children. Visit https://earlychildhoodcares.uoregon.edu/ to learn more.

Understanding Your Child’s After-School Meltdown

Posted on November 4, 2021 - 11:22 pm by Early Childhood Hub

Big transitions and new routines, like starting school, take a lot—physically and emotionally—out of kids. During this transitional stage of either starting school for the first time or returning from a long period away from the classroom, your child might feel extra tired and emotional—especially after school. This is sometimes known as the “after-school meltdown.”

While many children get used to the new routine after a few weeks, you can still support your child and build your relationship with them now as they adjust to this transition.

What causes after-school meltdowns?

Preschoolers and young children are still learning to manage their “big” feelings, both at home and in school. There are a number of reasons your child might feel extra emotional after school:

Your child is still adjusting to being away from you during the day. They may be experiencing homesickness, a longing for familiar environments, and predictable interactions. Making friends takes time and energy. Learning the give and take of interacting with peers is a skill they are still learning.

Your child is overtired from the busy day, or is adjusting to a new nap (or lack thereof) schedule.

Your child really needs to move their body after sitting in the classroom most of the day. Sometimes this energy comes out in a meltdown.

School is packed with physical and mental activities, and children have little autonomy over what or when they do them.

Just moving from one activity to another is hard for many children, especially if they are really enjoying what they are doing. They may be learning that they finish sooner than their classmates and need to wait patiently, or that they typically don’t finish what they are working on before being asked to move to the next activity. These are skills that take time and focus to learn.

Being expected to wait turns and share with fellow classmates. Especially if they are your first or only child, they are used to having more control and choice about what and how long they do an activity.

Being told “No” by teachers. Ideally, teachers explain why they are limiting an activity, but remember teachers are managing many active children at the same time and may not have focus to do so every time. This may feel abrupt or slighting to your child, so this adds another feeling to process from their day.

They are getting used to a new adult in authority who may communicate in a slightly different way from you. They are learning a new set of expectations and rules.

Not knowing how to ask for the things they need while at school. They are still learning to recognize what they need, put it into words, and be brave or assertive to ask in a way that is likely to result in success. They may need to wait to get what they need when they are not used to waiting.

Feeling extra hungry or tired at school. Remember, school is structured for the average child. Your child may be used to snacking when they want or zoning out with a book or screen when they are tired.

Addressing meltdowns when they happen

The goal is to get your child into a calm state of mind, while also allowing them to express their feelings.

Find a comfortable spot to sit with your child.

Offer hugs, back rubs, hold hands—whatever touch is most comforting for your child.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings: “It must be frustrating to wait to play. Let’s calm our feelings and think of a solution together.”

A breathing exercise may help: breathe in as if smelling a flower, breath out as if blowing out a candle.

Ask your child if they would like to read a book, sing a song, or draw a picture together as a way of calming down.

Offer lots of specific praise to your child. “You must be so proud of yourself for all the new things you are doing like…(list)”

If your child needs to eat or rest, you can give choices that keep you next to them. “Let’s get some lunch and then sit down together. Would you like to put the peanut butter or the jelly on your bread? Do you want milk or water with your lunch?” If they need to move their body, offer a game of catch or kick a ball back and forth. A walk in nature will calm and refresh both of you.

Once you recognize that your child is sensitive to after-school meltdowns, there are strategies you can use to help minimize them, including packing extra snacks for school and after-school; setting an early bedtime that includes a routine that emphasizes connection, such as stories, cuddles and music; offering a calm environment at home.

More time together

If your child is experiencing after-school meltdowns, it may just be that your child needs more quality time together with you when they get home. Carve out time each day to pay special one-on-one attention to your child. Adjusting to a new routine and school takes time. But knowing that you are waiting for them at the end of the school day with a big smile and open arms, goes a long way in making your child feel safe, secure, and loved.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Pediatricians: Your partner in your child’s good health!

Posted on October 15, 2021 - 12:02 am by Early Childhood Hub

Editor’s note: From time to time we like to feature guest blogs written by local parents and community partners. This blog was written by Mark Buchholz, MD, FAAP, a Pediatrician and Associate Medical Director at PacificSource Community Solutions. Mark is also a father of three (pictured above), and loves watching their volleyball games.

Being a parent is amazing, and it can also be difficult. When it comes to your child’s health, there are websites, books, well-meaning friends and family, social media, and so much more to guide you, and, at times, confuse you. One of your biggest cheerleaders and friends in supporting your child is their Pediatrician. We are here to help you and understand the challenges we are all facing.The daily challenges of the last year and a half have made it hard for many of us to make time for the things that don’t seem urgent, like taking your child to see their doctor, unless they were sick. Or maybe you’ve thought that doctors are so busy with COVID-19 that it would be better to skip your annual well-child visit. Whatever the reason, I want to let you know that we, your Pediatricians, really want to see your child, especially for a well-child visit.Well-child visits give us the chance to create a positive relationship with your kiddo. They will see and feel that they are being cared for when they are well, not just during what may be a scary visit when they aren’t feeling well. Seeing your child, and you, during a well-child visit gives us the chance to support you as a parent in keeping track of how your child is growing and hitting important developmental milestones. In the well-child visit, we can talk about how to keep your child safe as they grow and develop. We can keep your child on track for important childhood immunizations that protect them and others.Depending on the age of your child, the Pediatrician will talk with you during the well-child visit and screen your child for any concerns related to:

Vision
Hearing
Spinal health
Social interaction
Home safety
Physical activity
Nutrition

Visiting with a child when they are well also helps us examine the whole child, instead of focusing on an illness. We can see more of their physical, social and emotional health. We can have fun with them, learn about what they like, and see their personality!Pediatricians see the challenges of parenting during a pandemic, and we want to help you and your children stay happy and healthy. Please take a minute to schedule your child’s well-visit today. Your friendly, family-focused Pediatrician will be happy to see your child and you!

-Mark Buchholz MD, FAAPPediatrician; Associate Medical Director-Medicaid, PacificSource Community Solutions

If you need help finding a local Pediatrician, call the number on your health insurance card and someone can help you find a provider.

Blog Archives

Setting Parenting Goals For The New Year

Carve out time for yourself

Read more with your child

Be more present

Can’t go wrong with a focus on family

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

COVID-19 Vaccine for Children: Let’s Keep Families Healthy and Schools Open

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All Parents Benefit From Parenting Education

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Mealtime Tips for Toddlers

Successful mealtimes

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Bedwetting Relapse – Causes and Ways To Support Your Child

First, reassure your child

Then, identify the cause

Set your child up for success

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Guest Blog: Tips for Enjoying the Holiday Season

Routines

Sensory Overload

Family Expectations

Expectations for yourself

Travel and staying over

Your Home and Decorations

Final Thoughts

Understanding Your Child’s After-School Meltdown

What causes after-school meltdowns?

Addressing meltdowns when they happen

More time together

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Pediatricians: Your partner in your child’s good health!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program